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bad habits - kerser lyrics

[verse 1]
i don’t know how deep to go
but i’ma let it all out so come peep the show
got my first xanny of my mate, i ain’t gonna say his name
it was fun at the start, i used to treat it like a game
this around the time when the nebulizer dropped
i was on all types of shit, but there’s one i couldn’t stop
and it played with my brain, but i focused on the music
i focused so much, didn’t realise i abused it
never had a plan to stop, not in that prediction
going through fame, couldn’t see i had addictions
one turned to two, turned to three, turned to four
then i need about six a day, a little bit more
mixing it with lean, gotta stop people seeing
what damages can be by looking at me, shit
what to do cause i feel like a fool
and i hate any rapper making xannies look cool
shit was getting bad i was filled up with hateful
thoughts in my mind, i would argue with april
agreed i would stop, shit i’d give it a go
by the first f-cking night, felt like slitting my throat
second night, my body shaking
the ambulance appear and i’m thinking in my mind, what the f-ck they doing here?
suddenly i’m caught up and there’s no time to muck round
lucky i got here, cause my body ‘bout to shut down

[verse 2:]
back to square one, nah man you can’t quit
you gotta wean yourself off, that’s some hard shit
what the f-ck man, my brain is a mess
i can’t remember that much, feel the pain in my legs
i wish it was that easy, i could give up and go
and people still got the hide to tell me pick up my phone
maybe that’s my fault, i didn’t speak on it much
i didn’t see if as a problem, i would keep it from c-nts
rates could always tell, when i couldn’t pronounce certain words, brain dead
yeah should i be proud?
anxiety was k!lling me, the doctors couldn’t deal with me
put me on a program cut me down on the pills and weed
all scared, cause i feel on my own
i told ‘em “let me chill’, now they think i’m dissing them bro
waking up tired, i gotta take more pills
and i didn’t even wanna take ‘em, is this f-cking for real?
losing touch of myself, it’s like reality’s false
it’s like i’m walking around without having a pulse
it’s a feeling of death, or like nothing is left
’cause there i’m holding my chest, just put a hole in my head
you see the older i get, it’s getting scary as f-ck
i’m like an eighteen in the head, i weren’t aware of those drugs
the shit that they cause, i talk to mirrors on walls
i don’t need this shit ever, but to pills i will fall

[verse 3:]
i opened up on ‘no rest’ told c-nts everything
that i done ice, didn’t leave out anything
i quit that shit, yeah i left it flat dead
that was 5 years ago, they still think i’m a crackhead
if that’s what we going off, f-ck me dead
in 5 years i’ll be clean, they’ll be calling me a xanny head
funny how the world works for a paycheck
once the fame hit, i became a train wreck
i wasn’t shit anyway, so why does it count?
why so many people love me? i can’t figure it out
but i’m telling you now, don’t you follow my path
look you couldn’t if you tried, cause i’m going in hard
f-ck a poppin a pill, just to go out today
how’d i end up like this? i don’t know, it’s a way
well i’m blaming the fame, yeah i said it before
but it’s enough to make me high, feel like ending it all, but i

[verse 4:]
brush it off got my fans on my side too, and my girl and my brothers
and the whole crew
spilling the truth, it’s like all i can do
that’s why i don’t have time for rappers that are saying they’re true
when they lie to their fans, apologise in the end
i never lied to mine and this is why i’m the man
i tell you what i’m going through, i don’t care what they think
that’s why i’m triple popping pills, leaning over the sink
i’m almost f-ckin crying as i’m writing this shit
’cause of all my close ones, and the lives i affect
i came from the bottom, i made it my problem
created the option, now fame has adopting
my brain gotta stop it, insane i am not this
strange we got scott sick, imma watch a clock tick
just f-ck off, i said it just f-ck off
if i won’t have my tablets i’ll find a bridge to jump off
f-cking idiots, thinking that the shit is cool
‘till they dyin’ in the vomit of there own drool
what i meant to say? don’t do what i done
i’ve cut down on the program, yeah i’ve won
repped it from the street, turned into a star then
caught a f-cking habit on the xanex but the bars went
crazy and i’m just dealing with fame
i just want my fans to know that i’ll still be the same. i’m good

- kerser lyrics

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