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buy u a beer - ken kaniff lyrics

[intro]
(oh my god, who is that?)
(is that who i think it is?)
(oh my gosh it’s kenneth kaniff, i can’t believe he’s in my cl-ss!)
(i wonder if he has a girlfriend)

[verse 1]
ok i’m still in high school and i’ll be lucky to p-ss
i’m real good at most subjects but i’m sucky at math (do you need some help with that?)
my algebra cl-ss is past the last door on your left
at the end of the hallway near the bottom of steps
and when i get to cl-ss late, there’s nothing but sh-t
i get insulted by my teachers just for running my lip
i’m just trying to spit game to ninth-grade hoes
writing love letter and notes with x and os
like this one girl who sat next to me at a desk
i knew she liked me ‘cause she wouldn’t let me cheat off her text
and she was kind of cute too, but her t-ts ain’t developed
‘the time she’s sixteen, i bet them sh-t swell up
we exchanged numbers so i called on her phone
her mom’s picked up and i said “is jennifer home?”
she was screaming and yelling “now how old are you?”
“old enough to buy your daughter a cold case of brew”

[hook]
i’m twenty-one i’ve been in high school for six years
the only thing i learned is how to buy you a beer
when you’re standing in line, buying a three musketeers
i’m right behind you trying to buy you a beer
i bet your cheerleading friends try to tell you i’m weird
there’s nothing wrong with me trying to buy you a beer
and when your t-ts grow big and your zits disappear
me and you can celebrate with a six-pack of beer

[verse 2]
now what the f-ck is wrong with taking b-tches out for a drink
they got a mind of their own, screw what their parents will think
i’m ken kaniff, i like my p-ssy young and fresh
i’m off soft warm women with them b-cup br–sts
if it ain’t an a-cup or a white sports bra
i’m begging an 8th-grader to get their bra down[?]
yo, it ain’t my fault that i’m in algebra 2
with these freshman women who be fiending for brew
see all i do is take ‘em out, i buy ‘em a beer
it ain’t my fault, when they get home, their panties disappear
their parents stay asking ‘em who got them drunk
but they forgot to ask who f-cked them in the back of the trunk
and that was me, connecticut-born, star-born
nine inches, thick like a stock of corn
so next time your high school kid’s in my cl-ss
you’ll know why your cupboard’s missing a gl-ss

[hook]

[verse 3]
all the senior girls hate me ‘cause i pay them no mind
you ain’t in ninth grade baby, then you’re wasting my time
at a grammar school it ain’t drank once in your life
sucking forty bottles like d-cks on homer night
i like ‘em five foot three, less than a hundred pounds
with the beer belly rock hard solid around
you see i found this one chick with nipples and t-ts
that look brown and taste good like kibbles ‘n bits
she used to suck my corona till the lime was gone
her sh-t’s the bomb, i had her in bikini and thongs
but we never f-cked ‘cause that sh-t’s against the law
ok i’m lying, i just did her once with cops involved
yeah we boned, so what, i only hit her one time
it can’t be illegal to say that in a rhyme
it’s not like i’m twenty-nine, i’m still in high school
bottom dollar every freshman girl says i rule

[hook]

- ken kaniff lyrics

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