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beautiful waters - kathleen lyrics

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[verse 1]
loneliness feels like dying your hair so many times that the hairs fall out
that’s how loneliness feels
loneliness feels like bending your finger the wrong way then slamming it in a car door on the way out of an argument with yourself
and emptiness feels like coming home from vacation and seeing that all your plants are super dead
oh, it took years to grow that orchid
emptiness feels like missin’ the nail and hitting the whole f*ckin’ hand

[refrain]
so you get mad and hate the world
but really you just hate yourself
[verse 2]
and hating yourself feels like uninterrupted darkness everyday for the rest of your life
winter in the beaufort sea
and all of the while you’re looking for answers the internet’s saying it’s definitely cancer and you’ve got thirty days to live
oh you wanna touch someone but you’re just a shadow
and you’re screaming in a dream but no one is listening
you’re singing in the mirror
but no one’s singing back

[refrain]
so you get mad and hate the world
but really you just hate yourself
i’m sorry i’m so mean to you
i guess, i just forget

[chorus]
that my heart’s a swinging door
between happy and empty
my life’s a rising shore
of beautiful waters
that my heart’s a swinging door
between happy and empty
my life’s a rising shore
of beautiful waters
full of trash

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