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pills and wine - kat jade lyrics

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no dark cloud to use as a metaphor
as i sit here crying on the kitchen floor
with a bleeding heart and a screaming mind
and old senses from too much pills and wine

the fog takes over, clouds my eyes and mind
i lose all sense of all place and time
there’s only one thought that lingers clear through the fog i see
that everyone i know would be so much better without me

so i put on a smile and joke around for a while
make everyone think that i’m ok
but now the doors are closed and i’m alone again
sometimes those who laugh the most are in the most pain
in the most pain

i wake up in the haze and i’m all dressed in white
i’ll be honest i don’t remember most of last night
then i see your tear stained face in that wooden chair next to me
you’re gonna hold my hand
i can feel you’re hurting and i feel so guilty

i try to put on a smile
you hold my hand for a while
you tell me that everything will be ok
and i start to cry cause i think you’re wrong
you’ll be so much better off if i were gone

it’s so hard to explain, when i feel this way
unless you’ve felt this way yourself
so i say that i want, though i never wanted
to hurt anyone else
and finding out now it just gets worse the older i get
and the older i get
the more i just want it all to end

but i think of you and how you make
me feel when you’re around
and i know that i’m selfish
think i can do this, think i could hold on a little longer now
because with you the smile that went is real
and i need no more pills and wine to forget how to feel
forget how to feel
how to feel

- kat jade lyrics

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