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the lord commander of the imperial guard rap - karl the deranged lyrics

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oh boy… whadya think yer doing in my house? huuargh… nyommmmm- -my wife… huurgh -inhale- i will show ya somethin’!

mothaf-ckas don’t know it think i’m just some ancient -ss
when actually my b-lls are made from solid br-ss!
i’m the lord commander of the militant militia
the motherf-cker with the armies out to get ya!
f-cking heretics and motherf-cking xenos breed
the only joy in life is for me to hear them bleed

(that’s right! motherfuggers don’t mess with him! shjaflgsh wet marbles! s’i’m sorry!)

and with the sharpness of my armies i have made ’em all bled
and i will not f-cking stop until i see them all dead
yes, i will not f-cking stop until the galaxy is painted red

mmmmmmmm!

they call me the grand planner
i’m the guardsman spammer
m-ssive plotter
i’m the major spotter

(major plotter!
major spotter!
major plotter!
major spotter!
sorry, i said i was going to go away i’m gonna go away now.)

i’m the cl-ssiest of high lords with my red eye and my hair tendrils
with my golden armour
i’m a charmer
not a shaman
i’m a farmer
of lives!
i am death incarnate!

for i send everyday
millions to the grave
in pointless wars that make me say…
hey!
maybe bombing that place was not the best idea

when it’s full of soldiers who just sits there shivering in fear
and all i’m doing myself is just sitting here drinking beer
with a jeer screaming if i was there
we would not be fear
no shiver or quiver
only courage encouraged
so grab a gun and k!ll
but hey, don’t blame
we k!lled those orks
now reduced to some steaming corpse…

so if you have any thoughts that you think are hard
send them to me: the lord commander of the imperial guard
and i’ll make you go to prison…
for crimes…
of proposing
let’s see here
proposing…
lemme get my list up
proposing…
did i say proposing?
ah no, proposing!

anarchism
egotism
suspicion for being a magician
and radical, incredible, theoretical activism
proposing
barbarism
finalism
hedonism
humanism

and last but not least, the worst one of them all
might as well nail your f-cking b-lls to the walls
the crime, the worst one of them all!
the crime that’s streching all the borders
the crime
of not
following
my
orders

- karl the deranged lyrics

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