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self-talk! - kane train lyrics

[intro]
i started finding self*esteem
once i found that… that’s when doors started opening up…
i started… i stopped caring about people
that… what they thought
being judged. wow! if i say this…
if i started right now… “are you making fun of me?”
i stopped caring about that…
and, that’s when my life started really changing for me…
(i do care… i’m just scared!)
slowly, but surely!

[verse 1]
we try so hard… yeah! (keep going!)
and get so far… uh! (oh, yes!)
but every single time, we seem to spiral back ’round to the same d*mn spot! yeah! (repetition!)
it’s like i’m trying to chisel myself into something that i am not (not anymore!) woah!
and me hating on you is like the kettle saying “you’re black!” to the god*d*mn pot! (we got this!)

weeks of grinding, making progress, then it’s (yes!) back to procrastinating… oh yes! (no!)
time wasting. life’s fading. i blame it on my mind state. i hate this! (arghh!)
truthfully. that’s the truth, you see? (what?) i mean if… you were me… what would you do? (huh?)
repeat the same cycle? nah, you would be first to tell me that i should just release! (do it!)

[hook]
we’ve been fighting for a long time (long time!)
neither of us ever takes account for our own lies (own lies!)
i wish we could make up for our lost time! (lost time!)
we’re still alive somehow! maybe we should just talk some time!(sometimes!)
instead of pulling at eachother’s hair (yeah, yeah, yeah!)
i know it is never fair. i can act like i don’t care (i do care…)
how you’re feeling. you want freedom (…i’m just scared!)
but i bury you deep inside cuz i’m scared!

[verse 2]
even when we’re buried under rubble (argh!) and we’re suffocating from the struggle
we still stick it out! stay on the hustle (we do!)
i just wish that i could love you (i love you!)
but i’ve grown accustomed to hating you. nothing you did do

was your fault. it was mine! (it was my fault) and if i tell you otherwise
then i am just lying (i was lying!) and p*ssed off at you in that moment in time (tick, tick, tick, tick…)
so let it wash over you. opened my eyes… and now i realise

that i am your shepherd with a role. (i am!) i’m supposed to protect ya
you’re still a child. (you are!) you know we both can remember
when we were defenseless and those people pressed us (they hurt us!)
broke us to fragments! got permanently injured! (ouch!)

we’ve been through much together (we have!)
built a sk!llset. we came from the gutter!
we braved through the weather! (we did!)
we needed each other and we still do! (still do!)
so, let’s re*glue the structure… (follow my lead!)
[hook]
we’ve been fighting for a long time (long time!)
neither of us ever takes account for our own lies (own lies!)
i wish we could make up for our lost time! (lost time!)
we’re still alive somehow! maybe we should just talk some time!(sometimes!)

instead of pulling at eachother’s hair (yeah, yeah, yeah!)
i know it is never fair. i can act like i don’t care (i do care…)
how you’re feeling. you want freedom (…i’m just scared!)
but i bury you deep inside cuz i’m scared!

[verse 3]
just know that i am proud of you! (i’m proud!)
even when you still relapse and drown in booze! (oh no…)
because i know the pain hurts… and that’s just how you get through (keep going!)
i guess i’m writing this for me. that means i’m writing it for you!

thousands of independent tracks all laid in the booth! (you got this!)
videos edited! it’s astounding how you move! (yeah, it is!)
whilst everybody else just plays ’round in their youth (they do!)
remains ignorant to the truth. but, not you! (not us!)

people stepping on others to elevate their mood (uh uh!)
but you always lend a helping hand to everybody in your crew! (yes!)
even those alienated. empathy is huge! (come on!)
so f*ck the flaws! you do you! and, stay true! (stay true!)
the ones that matter… they recognise your efforts! (they recognise us!)
so f*ck those calling you pathetic!
even if it’s me from time to time. the lord knows that i regret it (i do!)
we’re healing all on our own. we don’t medic. keep treading

[outro]
get up early!? i don’t wanna do that!
so, i made this long list of things that i don’t wanna do…
and through that, i found myself…
so i started seeing myself very differently than the average human being
i was like “hang on a second… i have something they don’t have!”
and that’s when i started to develop these things, through never*ending work ethic
and through work ethic, i developed self*esteem

i struggled my whole life, but i ran from it…
so, i started realising that i gotta start facing the struggle
and, i gotta be mentally strong for the struggle
mentally, i’m training for life…
i don’t care about winning trophies
i don’t care about winning anything…
all i wanna do, is go the distance

and, i found out, on my own pretty much…
through discipline, through self*discipline, through repetition…
through tonnes of repetition * the same thing that you don’t wanna do
you develop armour for your mind!

you suffer? you suffer every day! it’s what we do!
so, then when the suck stuff comes…
you’re ready for it!

- kane train lyrics

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