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am i joking? - kane train lyrics

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[intro]
psst… kane… get out of bed kane…
you can’t sleep. you have insomnia. remember?
now write me another song

*yawning*
these f*cking voices man… they won’t give me a break
oh you think i’m not serious?
listen…

[hook]
i ain’t f*cking joking!/
what the h*ll you been smoking?/
i’ve been changing my clothing./
i’m just tryna find myself./

i ain’t even joking!/
what the h*ll you been smoking?/
i’ve been changing my clothing./
i’m just tryna find myself./

[verse 1]
look… i really /
miss the days when i /
did not think that i/
did not exist. what the/

f*ck!? look, i’ve been/
stuck inside of a../
simulation. it’s frustrating./
f*ck, i’m fading. heart palpitations!/

reality is just so unreal./
i made mistakes and i took some pills./
i hate a b*tch. i still pay the bill./
i be taking shots but, i aim to k!ll./

anxiety attack, huh? paranoid, he’s an/
actor? it’s your own mind man now grow a/
back bone. if you don’t like man well, then i’ll/
smack ya. i’ve been tryna be good but this/

voice kicks in and it takes over./
it’s been this way since i stayed sober./
it makes music like beethoven then it/
makes me play it for ya./

i’ve told you before… i’m apples, bananas and pears. i’ve got/
screws loose. my sanity’s rattling. where? don’t know/
who’s who. why am i strapped to back of a chair? cuz you’re/
cookoo! and that ain’t the back of a chair! (yeah)/

wait… it’s not?
no… that’s the f*cking… this is front of the chair
i see what your saying. yeah

[hook]
i ain’t f*cking joking!/
what the h*ll you been smoking?/
i’ve been changing my clothing./
i’m just tryna find myself./

i ain’t even joking!/
what the h*ll you been smoking?/
i’ve been changing my clothing./
i’m just tryna find myself./

[verse 2]
well, that’s a bit of a problem when your soul’s fractured./
taking notes. man, look, i wrote ’em backwards./
i’m sick of sleeping on a soaked mattress/
from my own tears ’cause of my own antics./

self*loathing’s a bad habit of mine./
if i haven’t told ya… i’ve got a brain and it’s fried./
put my brain in a deep fryer./
my brain’s strange. still, i spit fire!/
all eyes on me like i’m 2pac./
i’ve got a sick six*pack though (i don’t really)/
yeah, i do not eat no big macs bro. (oh no)/
i think i’m winning at tic*tac*toe (uh, tic*tac*toe)/

yeah, i’m losing at life but, not losing the fight./
man, i’m too ill*advised. if you did scrutinise/
all my lunatic rhymes, you would probably find/
something true hidden right at the core in the centre/

of all of this madness and chaos. i don’t know/
what kind of words i could spray that could possibly/
articulate all the mess. i’ve gotta/
get all this sh*t off my chest. who the f*ck/

cares? this world is dead. or at least /
it will be in like ten years. might as well/
man up and face all my fears. i hear the/
devil but b*tch, i ain’t scared. if i could/

turn back time and ask the old/
kane train in that same frame of mind/
if he would one day be schizophrenic then he would/
laugh and smile and take another line./

f*cking dumbass! look what you’ve done!/
no thanks to your dad… f*cking scum bag/
this sh*t’s bad. raise your hands./
listen…/

[hook]
i ain’t f*cking joking!/
what the h*ll you been smoking?/
i’ve been changing my clothing./
i’m just tryna find myself./

i ain’t even joking!/
what the h*ll you been smoking?/
i’ve been changing my clothing./
i’m just tryna find myself./

[verse 3]
man, this is serious now. i gotta snap out of the bullsh*t./
i took way too many drugs; now i’m battling all this./
all i need is a hug. man, i’ve been acting so stupid./
losing track of reality. how the f*ck did i do this?/

i used to smoke pot and that was it./
considered myself a bit of an activist./
it got a bit trippy but, i could handle it/
and then i took that sh*t to an acid trip./

and it reached a level of new heights. i think i saw some blue lights./
i was getting pizza for munchies and thinking of new rhymes/
one minute, then the next, i was abducted and i took flight/
and now i’m cookoo crazy like encore shady *c*ckeril noise*/

i really need a lady but, should i be raising babies?/
that’s probably the reason god doesn’t give me one actually…/
but, if i make money at least i get a mercedes./
hip*hop’s come far since way back in the eighties./

i mean listen to these rhyme sk!lls. i climb hills/
now, that was basic but, still i’m in my feels./
it’s probably true you have to sell your soul just to /
build a rhyme scheme that i build./

i don’t have a mind. i just have a minefield/
and still wonder how the f*ck i ain’t blown up/
‘mount of blood that i spill or ink the pen that i drill/
into the paper with vengeance ’cause i’m real./

i pull out my heart then i rip it apart./
i’m thankful that all of you can f*cking witness the art./
i fire rounds from with inside the dark. i’m going schizo./
i can’t kick it, i wish i never risked it with drugs./

i know you listen to kane and think that his sh*t is flames/
but, listen, without me, he’d be some sh*t in the drain./
i ain’t kane. i’ma demon that locked in his brain./
i’m holding the reigns and it ain’t gunna change and…/

i ain’t even joking!

[outro]
*laugh*

i ain’t even joking…

motherf*cker!

*laugh*

- kane train lyrics

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