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broken aura - kai, the renegade lyrics

verse:
i was 5 years old
at my grandma house
it was her bday, my parents ’bout to bring cake
early in december, they runnin’ just a bit late
i’ll always remember how we could have ended the day
brand new car got robbed, with everything inside
a shotgun to their necks, my parents could have died
they always told me ’bout how k!llers sell the organs
i could have spent that christmas as an orphan
didn’t think too much way back then
growing where i grew up, i knew these things could happen
just so glad it did not
until i found out that it did, not me but my friend
i can’t say much, it feels wrong
but i still think about his mom
’bout what went through her mind
how many nights he spent cryin’
how it could have been mine
how it should have been none
at 6 i was scared of death
at 16 i embraced it
spent too much time, too upset
feeling time being wasted
didn’t have a lot of friends as a kid
that gave me a lot of time to think
to dive, to let my mind sink
and i’ve learned just one thing if i’m being honest
death is the only thing we’re promised
my grandma was my mom when my mom was away
that’s the only time when i felt invited to stay
my first memories were with here
even through our tough times, it wasn’t hard to forgive her
ain’t a day i felt sad in her home
said i didn’t have friends, but i never felt alone back there
that was home back there
my only comfortable zone back there
if i could turn back time i would go back there
but…all things must change, that’s life
eventually had to leave
i’m 19 right now, many years have passed, yet there’s things that i still cannot believe
like why? why would god leave her…
fighting for her life?
i stopped believing there’s a man in the sky, 2011, when my grandma died

- kai the renegade lyrics

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