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research (skit) - kaelar ft. buck - kaelar lyrics

[kaelar]
okay, they’re knocked out. this is my chance!
let me see if i can find a book about these demons that can help me break free
here’s one, hmm, it doesn’t have a title, but it’s definitely about demons…
let’s see if i can find one of these f*ckers in here…
oh, that’s buck, and t, and rizzly! what does it say?
“the demon known as buck is one of the most fierce demons and has been the unofficial ruler of h*ll for the past couple centuries. most demons choose to follow him, because of the many ways he has brought destruction amongst the humans, instead of satan, who has been known for lacking interest in the world of humans for the past few centuries.”
yeah, yeah, don’t really care. why is he in my head?
“to bring destruction on earth, buck chooses a human host, through which he travels to the land of the humans. he then captures the soul of the host, as a way of keeping the human in control. he is often accompanied by other demons, typically ones he created by tormenting a captured soul.”
so, he has captured my soul… how do i get rid of him?
pfff, okay…
“buck is said to be one of the smarter demons, with an uncommon interest for the human game of chess. there have been many occasions on which buck chose to engage in a game of chess against a human, because he likes the challenge that comes along with it. at stake in these games is the human’s soul. the few humans who challenged buck in a chess game and won, have always lived to tell the tale.”
this is it! i just have to challenge him to a game of chess and win!

[kaelar]
buck! little b*tch, wake up!
[buck]
euhh, what the f*ck? what do you think you’re doing?
[kaelar]
i’m challenging you to a game of chess!
[buck]
you couldn’t wait until after my hangover?
[kaelar]
no! let’s finish this now! where’s is my soul?
[buck]
ohh, that old thing… i’ll show you
[kaelar]
let me talk to it!
[buck]
you get to see it, then we play a game of chess. prepare to lose
[kaelar’s soul]
aaaahhhh!
[kaelar]
you kept my soul locked in a cage?
[buck]
it’s not like they willingly sit still…
you have a feisty soul, you should think about anger management
[kaelar’s soul]
aaaahhhh!
[kaelar]
there there, little guy, imma get you outta there…

- kaelar lyrics

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