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agoraphobic - kade mccuen lyrics

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(i’m not okay)
(i’m not okay)
(i’m not okay)
(i’m not okay)

‘cause i can’t do sh*t right, i can’t learn my lesson
i can’t do sh*t right, take anti*depressants
religion and daddy robbed my adolescence
my friends probably hate me, can’t answer a message

i’m filled with anxiety, always be hidin’ me
feeling’ inadequate’s always what’s driving’ me
not a role model, that’s not what i strive to be
don’t go outside ‘cause sometimes it’s not ‘me’ in me

paranoid about it constantly, yeah
it doesn’t matter what you do, i’m gonna say i’m okay
even when i never finish all the food that’s on my plate

“how do you do it?” few will ask me if they actually know my name
‘cause i’ve faked this perfect smile for about eight thousand days
well i grab the red wine on rainy days and then i pour it
‘cause that’s how i’ve learned to cope, a borderline alcoholic

yeah, i spend my days inside, waste my time while i’m scrollin’
but i love it when it rains ‘cause i’m agoraphobic
and even if no one knows it
i’m not okay
i’m not okay
i’m not okay
i’m not okay

what’s the point?
i’m not okay
what’s the point?
i’m not okay

i can’t do sh*t right, i can’t learn my lesson
i can’t do sh*t right, take anti*depressants
anything i do feels like something is missing
don’t know what to do well, at least not while livin’

i don’t know why but i think it’s kinda funny
how hard i try when n0body even knows me
what’s the point, honestly? yeah

all you social b*tterflies, yeah i wonder how you do it
‘cause i only know how to sound extraverted through my music
it’s okay to be who you are, there’s no invalidating that
but i just wanna know ‘cause i’m tired of being alone and sad

got entire friend groups online ‘cause i’m a poet
got everyone ‘lol’*ing at a joke before you know it
it’s ironic ‘cause in person i am quiet, even stoic
and i love it when it rains ‘cause i’m agoraphobic
i’m not okay
i’m not okay
i’m not okay
i’m not okay

what’s the point?
i’m not okay
what’s the point?
i’m not okay

when i step outside i fell like someone’s always after me
dastardly, the world out there is actually
even worse than you think so i run faster
the only time i feel safe out there is when i’m masked, you see

so i’m staying inside, probably scrolling
so my favorite rainy days outside, it is pouring
‘cause i don’t know how to change so i try to just own it
yeah i love it when it rains ‘cause i’m agoraphobic

i’m not okay
i’m not okay
i’m not okay
i’m not okay

i’m not okay
i’m not okay
i’m not okay
i’m not okay

- kade mccuen lyrics

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