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carry on - k.flay lyrics

[verse 1]
with each stroke of my pen i connect
reflect on what was gained, what was learned, what was left
of the shards of a lifetime
capsized i was broken into fragments, scoured the cabinets
for the bottles that were hidden, were there messages youd given me?
im your one and only legacy
its been six years since we last met
i no longer dream of you, the visions gone from my head
once found in those brutally surreal scenes
where your spirit lingers, im incapable of seeing
furthermore im fairly doubtful that you are little more than dust
atoms now recycled in god i cannot trust, yet i must
where is your faith when you need it?
tell me, where is christ when you do not believe in angels or in demons?
emaciated figure, my father his body ravaged but still we managed
to make it many years before the liquor pulled the trigger
im stranded i haven’t forgotten how i thought that i would cope once i was bigger
my feets my only carriage but i stumble as i tread
pages written in a book that you and i once read, they said

[chorus]
not yet but soon i will be gone
carry on carry on

[verse 2]
its difficult to say exactly what i feel
lost in some translation and theres scratches on the reel
of a black and white, a silent movie usually im the one to say the soundtracks flawed
but in this case the melancholy draws me to the
background of the photograph
i hope it lasts this feeling that youre watching from above
that you know i dedicate the music to your love
guitar resonates with your doomed fate while i strum i contemplate
i was brought up amidst the vodka
it poisoned you and i was forced to watch my father slowly die over a toilet filled with puke
always afraid id wake up to your corpse
as a scared kid tried to keep my eyes from the floor
dont look down, in fact shut your eyelids entirely
the knowledge that youll never get to know mes got me crying
death signifies the loss of a fragile life
for every moment that you miss, i send to what i hope is heaven your daughters kiss
we can’t speak, pray to no one in particular my wish will one day meet your cheek
hold my head up high but i stumble as i tread
pages written in a book that you and i once read, they said

[chorus]
not yet but soon you will be gone
carry on carry on

[verse 3]
channeling the memories that i wrote down in a notebook that i kept after your death
bereft, frightened that in a short time i would lose sight of the subtleties of our relationship all the reminders
the way your leather jacket smelled of cigarettes and booze
inhale the fragrance of an addict i was bound to lose
im still your child
im still your child
you are my teacher
i learned how to be the person that you couldn’t even though i care for you
im wary i will replicate the mistakes you made in youth
that carried on, imprinted in my mind
i am playing your guitar, do the chords transcend time and sp-ce?
wasted potential i know it wasn’t meant to end like this, with you lifeless
in an urn full of ashes, gashes that are reopened every time a word is spoken
for you live and breathe within the parts of me deep down that are forever broken
father, rest in peace but i stumble as i tread
pages written in a book that you and i once read, they said

[chorus]
not yet but soon well all be gone
carry on carry on

[outro]
go forth and so on and so forth
still i miss you

- k flay lyrics

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