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monster - jzac lyrics

[chorus]
i’m so over this high that i’ve been chasing
different day, same sh*t, same conversation
and i don’t know how much longer i can take it
’cause i can’t look at this monster i created

[verse 1]
i don’t really get you, tell me, what’s the issue?
you don’t like your current circumstance, it doesn’t fit you?
didn’t know the power of the world until it bit you
chewed you up and had it’s way with you until it spit you
how you really had the nerve to think it wouldn’t pick you?
think you special
before the money and motives, i was sharing a dream
nowadays, all i do is stare at the screen
obsessing ovеr numbers while i stare at thе streams
’cause more plays is more money in a pair of my jeans
getting monthly checks from the music is a blessing
when you’re using it for rent, though, it turn into you stressing
’cause when something that you purely only use for self expression
now becomes an obligation, that’s when things will get depressing, man
f*ck! f*ck all this

[chorus]
i’m so over this high that i’ve been chasing (has everything to do with it)
different day, same sh*t, same conversation (definition of insanity)
then something happened somewhere where i got jaded
were all these hopes and promises overrated?
[verse 2]
window shopping in a store
wait for opportunity come knocking at the door
saying “yes” to sh*t that you don’t really wanna do
so how would you expect for this to not become a chore?
nostalgic memories remember how it was before
it would be a shame to let the progress get ignored
happens when you constantly just looking at the score
they tell me what it’s really all for
real sh*t, d*mn

[verse 3]
back when i was just an innocent lad
grew up thinking different was bad
’cause i wasn’t like the other kids, polish with an immigrant dad
immigrant mom, petrified i didn’t belong
i’m going back and forth in languages, moms learning english
if the teacher had a question, i was better off explaining it
think my parents coming to this country having nothing
is what fuled me for success, entertaining it
and it’s work, but that way of thinking’s dangerous
i don’t know if i’m proud or i’m ashamed of it, sh*t
stressed about getting ahead
at what point does the money start to get to your head?
at what point do you feel like you doing enough?
i’ll take a simple thing, make it feel confusing as f*ck
man, please define “making it”
’cause i don’t know if i even know, and i keep debating it
comparing, it ain’t helping me grow, there’s no escaping it
i’m struggling with letting it go instead of facing it
i’m struggling with letting it go, i keep chasing it
but
[chorus]
i’m so over this high that i’ve been chasing
different day, same sh*t, same conversation
and i don’t know how much longer i can take it
’cause i can’t look at this monster i created

- jzac lyrics

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