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the state of my depression - jxycee lyrics

(verse 1)
gotta start this alb-m up with some fire
this alb-m’s been in work for years
i have a lot of desire
actually got emotion now but i’m so d-mn tired
because i’m so depressed
i’m a god d-mn mess
ask me “does sh-t suck”?
the answer is yes
but i ain’t gonna be a p-ssy and be like “life is awful”
because it’s my fault my timeline’s like a waffle;
smashed down and forcefully separated
be thankful i ain’t cutting myself and getting intoxicated
my own brain’s feeling evaporated
feeling like trans-cranial magnetic stimulation has been activated
god d-mn i’m just so contaminated
on top of that i’m also insecure
this song is sh-t
and i am pretty sure
there’s nothing n-body can say to -ssure
me
that everything’s gonna be okay
because i remember someone said that to me one day
now that person is gone up and away
god d-mn it
i wish i had a say
my soul’s in a cell and i don’t have a bailout
all i can is shout like “wow”
on top of those i’m also stressed out
i don’t know why but i’ve been like that for years now
and finally i can’t socialize
like if someone said “hi”
i’d be standing there looking like i’m about to cry
even though i feel neutral inside
so if they say “what’s up?” or “how’s it going”
i don’t know what to answer
please give me till the morning
but i’d say “nothing much”
or something like that
why do i gotta be awkward?
jesus christ have you seen the ways i react?
i don’t even know man
even if it’s a guy
i’m incredibly shy
just imagine how i am with a girl
just the thought of that
it makes me whirl
feel like i’m about to hurl
might just f-cking twirl
might get a bandanna
to get rid of the hate
or maybe some things
like get some some chains
just to get some motherf-cking respect up all on my name like

(chorus) x2
and this is the state of my depression
i know i should really go to bed and
take a second
and reflect
because sometimes i randomly want to break my neck
just to keep my motherf-cking -ss in check

(verse 2)
f-ck this softcore sh-t, not anymore
from now the lyrics come from me
aka my core
gonna speak up so i won’t be a godd-mn bore
but my head’s so overcrowded
enshrouded
aka no valium
but i’m at a battle with myself
f-ck sake
but you’ll soon find that on coup de grace
the final blow hoe
speaking out like water in a dolphin’s blowhole
i don’t even know know
people will probably -ssume the worst
it feels like a motherf-cking stupid curse
sometime i wake up
and wanna be in a he-rs-
and sometimes i wake up and i feel reimbursed
sometimes i feel happy
sometimes i feel mad
kinda p-sses me off how i’m like that man
big d-ck tummy
she gone f-ck me
but you know that she won’t love me
because she hate me
there ain’t no debating
i ain’t gonna be a rapper to be edgy
hail satan
f-ck probation
and a cop
that’s what they all say
when they don’t expect a greater day
tomorrow will be better
that’s coming from a trend setter
a dude who’ll be forgotten in months
don’t forget-uh
you better open the letter dumb sl-t
or else i’m gonna drag your body parts to the dump
open it up
oh it’s a prediction
how the friction of events
put ya in a position
where you feel alone
trust me i know
waking up at night to check my iphone
f-ck overdose
i ain’t gonna od
f-ck green weed
i ain’t gonna blow trees
would ya look at me
bald head
mr. clean
being so obscene
why the f-ck are you being so mean?
sorry didn’t mean to cause a scene
i just wanted to say
that i love you today
i’m kidding
f-ck you
let’s talk about donald trump so i can get credit
matter fact i’ll take debit
i’m losing money by the d-mn second
did i forget to mention?
oh wait i’m from another dimension
i guess i said that to my children
sound like a marvel villain
get your spine chilling
make me reveal my face
and all y’all are gonna be like “jay, hey are you okay?”
where’s the ex in the bee?
where’s the bee and no cee?
where’s the c and the p?
wehre’s the jxy in the cee?
where’s the cee to the jxy?
where’s the jay to the z?
where the f-ck are his eyes?
where the h-ll do they be like

(outro)
and this is the state of my depression
be thankful i ain’t cutting myself and getting intoxicated
but i’m at a battle with my self f-cks sake
gonna drag all your body parts to the dumpster

- jxycee lyrics

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