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deceased - jxshua lyrics

[verse: jxshua]
i been moving all my life just to prove that i’m different
but no matter where i go, something seems to be missin’
whether it be the rapport or the lack of conviction
in the actions i put forth, i’m not sure, but i question
my intent to get ahead in this life, is it pure?
or am i simply jeopardising my rights to explore
the afterlife that i’ve imagined and building towards?
i guess i’ll find in due time when my life’s ran its course
sh*t, i truly feel i deserve it
all the trials and tribulations i’ve faced hold me steady as i’ve emerged and grown to form my own verdict
on all the sh*t i was exposed to growing up since it’s shaped me into the person that i am today
as my tears wash away
with the fear that i feared would deteriorate
my intuition, but here i am basking away
in all the glory this music sh*t has helped me make (for real)
i bet you feelin’ stupid right now
seeing me shine off of mine all this time got you fumin’ right now
remember time after time you would shoot me right down?
you fed me lie after lie, but who’s winning right now?
and it’s funny, ‘cause you’ll never admit it
couldn’t stand to see me happy way back then, even when i was seven
playing ball in the yard with your two sons, wishing that i would (hah, nah)
you lucky, forget it
i could never stoop so low like that (nah)
even if i knew that the truth would come out like that
i’m not the fool that you choose to put down like that
and i’mma prove that to you because i’m built like that
it’s freezin’
but i can feel this fire increasin’
and b*tch, as you’re readin’
i hope you take the time to help yourself as you need it
but do what you see fit
just don’t expect a hand out since you turned your back on me for no reason
and now hoe, what does that make you?
an idiot for thinking you could rubbish my issues
i do not do this sh*t for politics or to make news
i do it for my love for this, but that ain’t enough for you
i lived my life always looking for your recognition
i gave a f*ck despite the lack of care you had positioned
up onto me, i can’t believe i was blind to your malignance
i guess i’m glad that i didn’t fall for your jurisdiction
and all the sh*t that you continually brought into question
i stuck to my roots, i never took off from the mission
i hope you hear the pain inside me voice each time you listen
and that it suffocates your lungs each time you take a breath in
i made a promise to settle for nothing less
than working hard every day and striving for my success
just living my life for me without a second of stress
while you judging from afar, deceased inside of my head

- jxshua lyrics

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