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the owl - justmatt lyrics

[verse 1]
this imposter syndrome always gets the best of me
i’m one of my biggest critics, my biggest enemies
they say be kind to yourself, but it must be in another language
and i don’t have an exchange student to translate it
it’s a tough life to live when you believe you have what it takes to be the greatest
you run full sprint, then faceplant on the pavement
you try so hard like akon sang on that “strength…” hit
but your brain won’t stay loyal to whatever you created
you hate it, now your faith’s spoiled
and the passion that you had for over ten years is dwindlin’ away
you’re askin’, “how did i get here?”
that’s where i’m at right now
i know i need to get that passion back and stand my ground
but it’s difficult to do when you’re miserable, aloof
it’s pitiful, the truth is i’m second*guessin’ every move

[chorus]
why do i always feel like i’m not doin’ enough
and even when i do, i think i’m screwin’ it up?
my mind tries to tell me i’m destined to be just an emcee who messes up everything
why do i always feel like i’m losin’ control?
i call myself stupid for where i’m choosin’ to go
when will my demons let me be me outside of this cage and just set me free?

[verse 2]
yeah, i’m second*guessin’ every move
i’m questionin’, “is this another dead pursuit i’m chasin’?”
they all said that you are wastin’ your time tryna make it in this merciless business
but i’m cursed with this mission of dispersin’ the wisdom
that i learned from just livin’ on a day*to*day
there were times i craved to shave the pain away with a razor blade
luckily i strayed
went down another lane, grabbed the nearest pencil, and i focused
i picked up the page, hopin’ that whenever i come of age
i can f*ckin’ pay my bills by the mention of my name
but my brain is the one to blame, it plays a bunch of games
i write something ill, i get sick of it, get a stomach ache
so if you’re wondering what really took me forever to write my first album and put it together
well, this is my justification
and i’m sorry if i seemed somewhat evasive
this industry, i love it but hate it
i told my mother i’d make it
i got her covered the day that they put me up on them stages
now, she’s watching from above and i’m prayin’
that i find the motivation to stop pumpin’ the brakes and runnin’ in place ’cause
[chorus]
why do i always feel like i’m not doin’ enough
and even when i do i think i’m screwin’ it up?
my mind tries to tell me i’m destined to be just an emcee who messes up everything
why do i always feel like i’m losin’ control?
i call myself stupid for where i’m choosin’ to go
when will my demons let me be me outside of this cage and just set me free?

- justmatt lyrics

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