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altars - just fern lyrics

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right now i feel like my skins on fire
like i radiate a glow
that there’s no sense in taking me higher
i know i’m a liability
& if you try to rep me
you’ll be cursed with nonstop drama
maybe its the mental health days
or the queer tirades
or the ways that i pull from trauma
so just listen instead
‘cause the queer arts better once the loud girl’s dead

do u wanna see me cry after the show do u wanna see the way my friendships go just know that i am terrified…usually
now i haven’t left the house in 7 days
now i got my friends dming “u ok?”
can’t even find an answer we agree to speak

do u wanna see my cry after the show
do u wanna feel my heatsp*ce glow & grow
just know that i’m too terrified to keep receipts
now i haven’t left the house in 20 days
now our world is getting hotter & i pray
i dont wanna b the burden that breaks u from me

my family wants to think their child died
that i’m an infanticidal
freak of nature
that i ain’t sure
that i been brain washed
got lost
osh kosh b’god d*mn
i’ve just grown a little bit
tried on a new life
now the old one doesn’t fit
cut out fake friends
who kept posting old pics
work place break downs
i prob’ly shoulda quit
a headsp*ce playground
“yr it, yr it!”
yr at the altar
god calls u on yr sh*t
so u grab onto the shards
& u start to split
then i became the alter personality
when ev’rything went black on me
now i don’t front or hang around
& if i seem distant
count the minutes
count the months
since u shoulda said the god d*mn pr*nouns
do u wanna see me cry after the show
do u wanna see the way my friendships go
just know that i am terrified…usually
now i haven’t left the house in 7 days
now i got my friends dming “u ok?”
can’t really find an answer we agree to speak

do u wanna see my cry after the show
do u wanna feel my heatsp*ce glow & grow
just know that i’m too terrified to keep receipts
now i haven’t left the house in 20 days
now i think i feel the ending & i pray
i dont wanna b the burden that breaks u from me

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