desert love - jsz & crowley lyrics
[chorus: crowley]
have you ever made love to a cactus, yo?
i tell you now it takes some practice, bro
them spikes go anywhere and everywhere
in your legs and even in your derriere
have you ever made love to a cactus, yo?
i tell you now it takes some practice, bro
those spikes go anywhere and everywhere
in your legs and even in your derriere
[verse 1: crowley]
got a condition that is very rare
skin peeled by the desert air, see you nice and ready there
pr-ckly pear sh-t, embarr-ssed to come by you
but then i been thinking about the fun of doing this b-tch
so i’m in the desert meddling (meddling)
felt a little sting (little sting) then i woke up in the hospital wing
never been f-cking a plant that could fight back
but i like that sh-t, slide back in
[chorus: crowley]
have you ever made love to a cactus, yo?
i tell you now it takes some practice, bro
them spikes go anywhere and everywhere
in your legs and even in your derriere
have you ever made love to a cactus, yo?
i tell you what, it takes some practice, bro
those spikes go anywhere and everywhere
in your legs and even in your derriere
[verse 2: jsz]
hold this sh-t up, i must admit that i have my doubts
i’m not sure i’d bang a cactus even if there was a drought
and if i’m stranded and my d-ck is running rampant in my pants
i do not think myself the type of man to turn to desert plants
i’d like a human, if i’m lucky then a model or an actress
tuck her in on my mattress, then end up in a certain crack, b-tch
all your battle tactics are so whack, i can’t believe you tracked this
and i know you’ve got a question for me but don’t f-cking ask it
[chorus: crowley]
have you ever made love to a cactus, yo?
i tell you now it takes some practice, bro
them spikes go anywhere and everywhere
in your legs and even in your derriere
have you ever made love to a cactus, yo?
i tell you now it takes some practice, bro
those spikes go anywhere and everywhere
in your legs and even in your derriere
[bridge: jsz (crowley)]
i don’t really wanna f-ck a cactus (f-ck a cactus)
i do not want to f-ck a cactus (f-ck a cactus)
please don’t make me f-ck a cactus (bro, f-ck a cactus)
i’m telling you man, i don’t wanna f-ck a cactus (bro, you gotta f-ck a cactus)
listen up, i don’t wanna f-ck a cactus (f-ck a cactus)
it sounds painful, i don’t wanna f-ck a cactus (what you doing? f-ck a cactus)
stop, i don’t wanna f-ck a cactus (f-ck a cactus)
b-tch! i don’t wanna f-ck a cactus
[verse 3: crowley]
godd-mn, why be f-cking your hand
when you could be f-cking a plant full of water? man, that’s natural lube
so b-tch, don’t you be coming with this sh-t
if you don’t f-ck a cactus, i will cut off your d-ck
[verse 3: jsz]
you know what? f-ck it, fine, you’re right
everyone knows that men like everything v-g-n–like
so quit whining like i won’t explode like dynamite
when i slide in and out of this sh-t for the final time
[chorus: jsz & crowley]
have you ever made love to a cactus, yo?
i tell you now it takes some practice, bro
them spikes go anywhere and everywhere
in your legs and even in your derriere
have you ever made love to a cactus, yo?
i tell you now it takes some practice, bro
those spikes go anywhere and everywhere
in your legs and even in your derriere
[bridge: jsz (crowley)]
i just really f-cked a f-cking cactus (you f-cked a cactus)
i can’t believe i f-cked a cactus (bro, you f-cked a cactus)
i put my p-n-s inside of a cactus (you f-cked a cactus)
what the f-ck? i f-cked a cactus (you f-cked a cactus)
that’s gross, i can’t believe you made me f-ck a cactus (you f-cked a cactus)
i f-cking f-cked a cactus (you f-cked a cactus)
i f-cked a cactus (f-cked a cactus)
i cannot cope with the fact i f-cked a cactus
[chorus: jsz & crowley]
have you ever made love to a cactus, yo?
i tell you now it takes some practice, bro
them spikes go anywhere and everywhere
in your legs and even in your derriere
have you ever made love to a cactus, yo?
i tell you now it takes some practice, bro
those spikes go anywhere and everywhere
in your legs and even in your derriere (one more time!)
have you ever made love to a cactus, yo?
i tell you now it takes some practice, bro
them spikes go anywhere and everywhere
in your legs and even in your derriere
have you ever made love to a cactus, yo?
i tell you now it takes some practice, bro
those spikes go anywhere and everywhere
in your legs and even in your derriere
[outro: jsz (crowley)]
aw dude, that was… -sigh- that was so f-cked up (yeah, i know, c- like… it was, like-)
yeah, i… -sigh- (no, but listen, it was, it was good, right?)
i… f-… i f- cannot f-cking believe, yeah… (no, it was goo- like you had a good time, right?)
-sigh- i… (like, just admit it?)
yeah, i’m like… ye- (like-)
i will admit, i came very hard
(good.)
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