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i just wanna feel loved - jsss lyrics

i wanna die, wanna cry, wanna lie
wanna sneak off and get high
sneak off and forget about life
nothing is real, all my sh*t is too personal
if i tell you what you’re gonna say im delusional
staying quiet so i dont scare everyone i know
staying quiet so i dont scare myself more
hiding how i feel, bottle everything up
you say the bottle will explode
i got bigger bottles, the more they can hold
the more i can hope
that one day i will love myself more
that one day i won’t hate myself more
that one day you can’t begin to let me go
why you keep me here is a truth i dont hold
why you dont leave me here is a truth i dont know
but im glad that you’re here, im glad you let me grow
but its about time i let you know, that i may not ever grow
to my full potential, lotta knowledge i dont know
what i know will hurt me, what i dont i’ll know
one way or another, you’ll certainly let me go
group after group, another person left me for dead
you f*ckers never know what goes inside of my head
red lines that i stare at, wishing that i was dead
hide the tool, hide the body, hide whatever the f*ck i said
you didn’t hear me speak, you may never know that i regret
saying anything to you, saying anything to you
tell me this is how i should feel
tell me you dont feel bad for how i feel
not selfish, so i dont say another word
hold it all in till i know someone overheard
so*someone overheard, so*someone overheard
one by one, time after time
is it bad if i feel, is it really a f*cking crime
you b*tches sour like limes
you b*tches lifeless like dimes
throw your words hurling at me
fractions that i can’t read
if i ever let you go, i just want you to know
that whatever i said, you’re allowed to pretend to not know
that i was the one who would never let you go
that i was the one who really let myself go
that i was the one who couldn’t handle it more
that i was the one who had a story so short
no shortcuts, hiding in my pillow fort
rejecting the past, rejecting the court
rejecting anything, wish my mother had aborted
me before i had a chance at life
l*leveling up, l*leveling up
another angel to watch you over, thats enough
never have to feel, never have to steal
when all i ever wanted was for someone to make me feel
like i was real, like i could heal
but n0body would take me up on that offer
n0body wanted to take me on that offer
i just wanna feel love
i just wanna feel love
i just wanna feel*
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- jsss lyrics

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