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how it feels - joyride! (sf) lyrics

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how it feels:
it’s like a steady build
or a subtle loss that you won’t notice ’til your sense of self is gone
do you feel anything when you look at me
after all these years

“maybe you love me but you don’t know how to say it”
is a pretty line and i wanna believe it
my sprawling sentiments
layers of sediment in places where me met
a clear frame as if you had never left

never mind those words and phrases
i don’t hold reverence, stark false esteem
out with the new and out with the old
we are unsatisfied with everything
and i wouldn’t hold my breath for anything

every time you say you hate that movie
every time you say “i felt nothing”
every time i wonder what you’re doing
if you’re thinking of calling
every time that i p-ss my reflection and
i fall apart
i, i fall apart

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