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scars - josh a lyrics

[verse 1]
no, i’m not perfect, never said i was
i keep at on service, never give enough
got bpd and ocd
so when you see me, you don’t really see me
always do the same thing just to maintain
if i don’t, i’ma break things and say things
i don’t really wanna talk about it, i wanna help
swear it’s so hard for me to love myself
i can’t enjoy the good days ’cause i know the dark comes next
i’m a child of divorce, that explains my stress
i was ten years old, future pulled out from under me
never had much ability to cover me
cold nights in my fathеrs trailer
funny how i miss those times
funny it would nеver really cross my mind
up until these things get far behind
i’ve been searching for a purpose, treat my life worth it
trying to unearth it, hate that death’s certain
thinking all the things that i took for granted
all this success, could’ve never planed it
yeah, i’ve been thinking ’bout my life and the past tense
if i never dealt with that, would i rap then?
all the trauma’s that i went through made me me and everything i be

[pre*chorus]
makin’ all this scars
it hurts me right before i run away to far
i’ll never let a soul in
one day i’ll find the piece of mind
the piece of mind (oh)
[chorus]
and it be so hard to end all the pressure
worse before it’ll get better
scared that i’m drowning
but i keep going, i have to ease it up
bury my head in the sand, but i’ll be a better man
i just close my eyes and pray that i’ll be fine

[post*chorus]
and i just stay awake
longing for the day i change
i wanna change sometimes
and i just stay awake hoping all my stitches fade
(but all the scars will never fade away)

[verse 2]
used to be young, i miss those days where i could be dumb
but i had to grow up fast ’cause life came at me
and i miss life when i was no one
used to be broke, used to be alone in my room playin’ shows
grippin’ the mic and i would k!ll it when i was low
everything change when i came up
now i’m just someone i barely know
and i’m cutting people off too easily and it scares me
mom did the same and it hurt me, but don’t compare me
set the explode, i approach pain rarely
have you ever felt sane? (barely)
dark days, always in the dark place
doing things the hard way, i don’t wanna start things
so i’m just keeping to myself, want a way out
but i might need help
[pre*chorus]
makin’ all this scars
it hurts me right before i run away to far
i’ll never let a soul in
one day i’ll find the piece of mind
the piece of mind (oh)

[chorus]
and it be so hard to end all the pressure
worse before it’ll get better
scared that i’m drowning
but i keep going, i have to ease it up
bury my head in the sand, but i’ll be a better man
i just close my eyes and pray that i’ll be fine

[post*chorus]
and i just stay awake
longing for the day i change
i wanna change sometimes
and i just stay awake hoping all my stitches fade
(but all the scars will never fade away)

- josh a lyrics

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