unified field theory - jordin kare lyrics
a long time ago, back when physicists were green
there were more kinds of theories than you’ve ever seen
but there wasn’t any one of them that always applied
so the loveliest of theories would be unified
we had quantum mechanics, we had qed
some special and some general relativity
statistical mechanics we could point to with pride
but the loveliest of theories would be unified
now einstein was a g*nius, of that there’s no doubt
there never was much physics that he couldn’t figure out
but there was just one problem that always taxed his brain
and as the years went by, he was heard to complain:
“i got my quantum mechanics, got my qed
my special and my general relativity
i got a cat but that’s irrelevant, i’ve tried and i’ve tried
but my field theories just aren’t unified.”
now old einstein passed on and he came before the lord
and the lord said, “albert, you deserve a reward
make any one request and i’ll be glad to yield.”
he said, “o lord, i’d like the theory of the unified field
“i got my quantum mechanics, got my qed
my special and my general relativity
but i worked upon that problem till the day that i died
and my field theories just weren’t unified.”
well, the lord said, “albert, you’re a very great man
but not even you could fathom my vast eternal plan.”
he pulled a sheaf of papers out of plain thin air
and he handed them to albert and he said, “it’s all there
“you got your quantum mechanics, got your qed
your special and your general relativity
mass and time and energy and gravity tied
together in a theory that is unified.”
well, einstein took those pages with a trembling hand
he studied them in ecstasy, the theories were so grand
then he peered at one equation, flipped back to page ten
sadly shook his head and sighed, “wrong again
“i got my quantum mechanics, got my qed
my special and my general relativity
but as for field theories, in peace i’ll abide
for the lord himself can’t make one unified!
“so study quantum mechanics, study qed
some special and some general relativity
but you might as well go hunting, just as sure as you’re born
for a unified field theory or a unicorn.”
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