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hatred and love - jordan butler lyrics

it’s like time and time again my life keeps pulling me back
i’m an emotional mess
transparent’s my shade of black
pencil lined grey i’m slightly violent and dark, but fact
cold and maybe distant maybe distant, must express what i lack
i don’t know my true reflection been to long behind the mask
i take the pen and then i slash, my hands stabs as i thrash
just now, let me outlet, or i’m gonna cause a f-ckin crash
flash, then i vent it, put my face right through the gl-ss
witness devastation i’m pacing about to snap
i go through any sh-t, and this form in which i show it
not to blow it, toe to toe it, and don’t io know it
feelins grow it
cannot handle how it burns i take the pain and try to throw it
place it in another i’m smothered but do not mention much
this h-ll’s my hesitation i’m wastin from sense of touch
i stumble through the blackness with my eyes wide shut
oppose my views
the first’s not always the deepest of cuts
this the color that i bleed i’m on my knees as i’m judged
reflect the cloud and all the rain to fall from heavens above
for all my p-ssions there’s no words that i could twist round enough
nothins as simple just to seperate to hatred and love

i combust and then i rise again convinced i’ve opened up
eternal cycles keep repeatin, i can feel its got me stuck
regressin into progress, loops spinnin my nut
hollowed out remain to wish that i still never gave a f-ck
i find it hard at times, i want and feel the need to self destruct
i’m trapped, but maybe grown, i stop and think about my son
from what i am and what i’ve done, i still continuously run
to catch the sun, it comes around again the moonlight leaves me numb
i embraced my face with shadow fate’s intended i be dull
around in constant circles, it’s a fish bowl in my skull
i’m content then just to wallow, pour my soul til page’s fill
i’m just very self aware, others say that i’m -n-lytical
a criminal
many different sides provide the substance that i spill
and i could k!ll, when i’m forced to make it lyrical
the pinnacle
still remains well out of my reach
if i could practice what i preach i’d maybe grow but self deplete
for better lives we have to strive, i need to live what i speak
maybe this is what they meant, by turning the other cheek
i’m tired and i’m seek, at moment weak, but never beat
rivers bleed from my being, cascade as i leak
with dead hands upon the clock i serve a sentence to wait
i check the time, it’s tickin slow but seems i’m always runnin late
so i debate on waitin longer, while my notions abate
i should move backwards on to graduate from lovin in hate

- jordan butler lyrics

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