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two oceans - jordaan mason & their orchestra lyrics

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there are two oceans on either side of me yes
i touched them both yes
i kept moving because
home where home how
home here home now
i watched the trees change colour
and the hair on me get thicker
and i knew i knew nothing

i woke up in the emergency room
not knowing where i was
i tried to laugh it off
i closed my eyes, put on a disguise
said i love you to
all that i met who
didn’t just take off my clothes
what does it mean to transform
in the middle of a sentence
to say no after yes
to say yes after no
it was there in the snow
i fell in love again
and once i said it
i could not stop
nor did i want to

my conscience said to put it away
and forget that it happened
because you can’t keep it all so close
yes it was terrifying
an ocean on each side
i’m in the middle
failing you and myself
again and again

so enough of this language in the book
what i mean is that i miss you
what i mean is i will never not

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