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sleepless - jonny farias lyrics

[part i]

[verse: jonny farias & weldon irvine]
wake up, play a dirge for my innocence
oth-llo on the track
spitting this verse in p-ssing, it’s early af
tragic circ-mstances made a plain absence
we await your return to cl-ss
shining bright like the burning man
false prophet, i need a sermon, stat
the sad stain the soul like astroturf, drive me crazy ‘til i crash and burn
things were chill when i was taciturn, they had to turn to cr-p
man, i’m just learning that’s just how the world is
back in the jumpsuit, life hit me with the one-two
morning sunrise
every evening meal could be my last supper
still whine over what i’ve bred to where i can’t utter raps
in a rough patch, wishing for a comeback
not well, in a dry spell of serotonin
everybody wanna know it all until they know it
everybody wanna die but fear me when i really show it
everybody’s turned comic, y’all can quit the joking
death in the family, we still in mourning
morning sunrise
h-llo morning, you look up
nah

[part ii]

[verse]
remember we thought depression had lost?
happiness went away and left me to rot
child of god, but can’t handle bearing a cross
you got accepted by fordham, your stress should be gone
ha
free things come with their separate costs
……..
might jump off this bridge, i won’t feel nothing
might just cut myself just to feel something
feeling weaker, think i’m off the deep end
think these hormones messin’ with my cerebrum
this whole life thing, i need a new lease, yeah
can’t say it didn’t tire me, the three-wheeler
contemplating if i need ya
i wish you saw me how i see ya
i wish i saw me how you see me
fool in love like tina, hittin’ me like “eureka”
you reek of desperation, can’t conceal it
teachers asking, my dear what happened?
no cap, i don’t have the strength to give an answer
irritated, chicken scratching as a treatment
i can’t make promises, ‘cause i’ll never keep ‘em
lay off the grease, hon’, it’s k!lling your features
at least you’re k!lling your features, ease up
married to the game, but i fear i’ll need a prenup
never liked labels, autistic as a wee one
maybe that explains my feelings or my demons
draw a picture for y’all on my marisa
draw a veil just in case your chico tears up
draw a line between the lions and ophidians
draw a bead on the gift that god had to leave, yah
i’ve been sleepless

[part iii]

[verse 1: jonny farias]
nice to meet ya, i’m dense
try and see from my lens
living life completely on edge
the type to sit on white fences
hesitant
at a crossroads with everything
off-track, cry rivers and drown in denial
big mane act like cowardly lion
roaring like ‘29, that’s that great depression
i don’t know the answers, so i’m taking guesses
finna put lead in the bubble like scantron
clear my head, clear my head
wackjob, afro pick coming out the flat top
pacifist driven to the last straw
bad dog, that’s the pits
in the rough, but i can’t shine
look at me, look up to me, look down on me, just don’t look away
…….

[interlude: jonny farias & aaron paul (as todd chavez)]
night
you can’t keep doing sh-tty things and then feel bad about yourself like that makes it okay!
in the dark of the night
you need to be better!
baby, i should tell you i’ve been out it as of recent
no, no, just stop
puzzled mind and broken heart, i’m picking up the pieces
you are all the things that are wrong with you
nights i didn’t sleep, yeah, fighting with my demons
it’s you
all up in my feelings, they be shifting like the seasons
alright? it’s you

[verse 2: jonny farias & let-tia wright]
watch the breakdown
i’m a burden to everybody, man, i’m poison
actions speak louder than words, but i keep on making the wrong choices
i used to be high off life, took a large dosage, now my life’s joyless
feel like i’m in deep sp-ce, losing oxygen, all of my cries pointless

[part iv]

[verse]
keep schtum, keep schtum
golden state way i blew it since 3/1
treading water lightly, i feel stuck, need to be hugged
embrace the thread and thrum (easier said than done), embrace the thread and thrum
hanging by it, the agony covers me cap-a-pie
in the belly of the beast, finna lose my appet-te
starving artist slash simpleton, started giving up
you’re fitting the description of a stereotypical spic
inner city idiot, quit slipping up
stiff that upper lip of yours when it comes to the implicit
you’re too explicit, son, they gon’ want you beaten up (not if i do it first)
can you even really call yourself dominican? (¿de dónde eres?)
it’s all hands to the pumps with me, y’all better keep in touch
comfortably numb, the life i lead leave my spirit crushed
living in my bubble, popping my cork over silly stuff
fizzing up over a little crush, is you a simp or what?
is you a simp or what?

[part v]

[intro]
redundant, this feels redundant
i’m upset, i’m obsessed

[verse]
this a skip in time for those who skimmed and stopped
hairy tales to tell, i’ll spin a yarn
hit the bottom, brain on the fritz
this thickened plot i can dig no longer (sike)
one bullet, shot and missed my shot
hard to breathe, already gave my heart
she told me that i’ll find a different heart
i’m feeling stupid, my feelings stupid

[refrain: frank ocean & jonny farias]
how come the ecstasy always depresses me so?
chemically i don’t have no more new places to go
feeling like a ghost, invisible
do you hear me? do you see me?
how come the ecstasy always depresses me so?
chemically i don’t have no more new places to go

[part vi]

[verse]
wake up, play a dirge for my innocence (pisces)
took the bait, now it’s time to fry bigger fish (cancer)
vox clamantis in deserto
boy, you whine like merlot, worst role model if you’ve ever eyed one
why put a suicidal kid so high up?
high up; let’s not jump to conclusions
guidance: never judge the series by the pilot
jesus, my reflection looking like judas
brutus, stabs in the dark for solutions
from a young age, they tell us not to lie and yet they never tell you ‘bout the side effects
drifting from the principles i’ve heeded, take attendance, is you present bro?
literally been ready to die, it’s no biggie though
child of the indigo, waiting for the scales to fall from my third eye
wish it was plain simple though
turbulence, sick from the chemtrail life been dispensing
if god is good all the time, then i’ve got several questions
to many ministers, men and women, i’m mini-vincent
yet i’m double-minded and rickety in every mission
switch hitter swinging for the fences
keep on missing, feel like quittin’
but penning is the anesthetic, still nitpicking everything that’s written
d-mn these soliloquies i’m dishing
guinea pig in a system that’s willie lynchin’ the children
rivet spittin’ gonna leave me swimming with the fishes
skinny dipping in the naked truth, it floods my thoughts
make opus (you can’t), evade onus (you can’t), so many mental blocks
pushing boulders feeling like i’m over a barrel
beefing with myself, haven’t thrown away the hatchet
toto, this ain’t kansas no more, this is madness
lonesome, romantic, can’t take no for an answer
love’s a drug, got the antidote in the plasma
going blow for blow with the angel
give me my blessing, l-l-lord give me answers
bottomless pit, don’t fall in the chasm
stay shakespeare with it, put your soul in the stanzas
we’re all merely players, the issue is i’ve got stage fright
seven ages everyday, he gotta learn to make time
are my main lines being said in vain?
hyperventilate ‘til i’m in a breathless state

[part vii]

[verse]
drowning in air
life, it ain’t fair
deep in the mire
i’ll sleep when i—
when animals see a great threat, they play dead
is it okay that i’m not okay?
i know this is no way to live
i just wanna feel no pain
wanna hit nirvana, oh hey cobain
if god give me stardust, i’d prolly blow it like coltrane
my soul train’s gone off track
forget that, peep the line though, ayy
lost my comp-ss, been going the wrong way
time fly like fourth plague
it’s been hard, my heart finna be hardened
my apologies
you caught me on an off day, in all ways
and that’s always
stuck between moses rock and a hard place
sleepless, hopeless
never felt more woke than at this wake, huh?
ain’t that comedy? ain’t that irony?
one life, what you afraid of?
one life, that’s what i was afraid of
who’s to blame, god?
you’re flawless, so it’s i, straight up, eyes straight up
maybe i should go to sleep to wake up

- jonny farias lyrics

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