funky hell - jon matteson lyrics
welcome, to the year 2010. you’ve come a long way, weary traveler, but you’re home now. everything is different in the future. the one thing that hasn’t changed is… i said the one thing that hasn’t changed… the funk
d*do do do do do, d*do do do do do
welcome to the future
where things have changed
we don’t walk anymore
we fly aeroplanes
we wear shirts made of glass
and pants made of grass
everyone has onе pet
it’s a giant bass
a funky bass
a funky bass?
a funky bass
d*do do do do do, d*do do do do do
in 2050, the presidеnt was k!lled
we replaced him with funk
out on capitol hill
laws are now bubblegum
and shoes are cheese
the europeans are gone now
we replaced them with bees
funky bees
welcome to france
bzz bzz bzz bzz, bzz bzz bzz bzz
d*do do do do do, d*do do do do do
everything’s better, in 2010
no s*x anymore
we just make friends
that’s why the human race
is about to end
dooo do do do do doooooooooo
do not be frightened
we’ve run out of hair
we’ll just borrow yours
you won’t need it where you’re going
to h*ll!
deedledee deedledee deedledee deedledee deedledee deedledee do*do*do*do*do*do*do*do
welcome to h*ll
i’m the demon of funk!
there’s not much room
you’ll have to share a bunk
with that pig man!
blaaahhhhh!
whip out your tongues
there’s plenty to l!ck!
like the lollipop forest
but there’s only two flavours
grape and lime!
grape and lime!
have a good time with grape and lime!
ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha!
everything sucks here
all we do is have s*x and eat pie
and sleep in the hot tub
except for the pig man!
poke the pig man!
blaaahhhhh!
wait, where are you going?
i didn’t give you an invite!
escape through the floor boards!
escape through the floor boards!
blaaahhhhh!
beeowoh
welcome, traveler, we’re happy you’re here
to 3010, our favourite year
the funk is dead now
we’ve come to our senses
we see our world through clear*coloured lenses
you have two choices:
go back to your own time
or remain in ours
make a choice
or we’ll send you to h*ll
no choices made?
oh well
blaaahhhhh!
welcome to h*ll, where we all live in cakes!
and we put on our swim suits
and swim in cold lakes!
wanna watch a movie?
it’s the princess bride!
take a seat on my couch
made of tongues and hide!
tongues and hide!
blaaahhhhh!
want some popcorn?
it hasn’t been popped
it tastes of fresh ham
newly chopped!
better eat it quick
or say good bye!
here comes the pig man!
[long silence]
happy new year
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