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i'll be here waiting - johnny n. lyrics

verse 1

where were you dad?
i’ve been alone in my room sad
mom said your mad cause you came home drunk again
why’d you have to drink again?
so you drove home like that?
you’re gonna hurt someone dad
god d-mn, now you’ll take it out on us, huh?
push all your insecurities upon us, huh?
honestly leave me the f-ck alone
i am not your punching bag
for your right hooks to my self esteem
dads were supposed to be a great thing
but you weren’t for me
you were nothing but misery
best site to see was you pack your sh-t and leave
when i was sixteen. you still had a godd-mn ring
yet mom and i saw your van in her f-cking driveway
should of gave her doorbell a ring
you never owned up to it! wait
you never own up to any of your mistakes
you expect everything to just be okay?
you’re always right
everyone else is wrong
this time you might
want to change before you’re gone
four kids but i’m the only one
that would give you the time of day
thats something to say
it must be that i’m too much like mom
seek love from her father when he wasn’t capable
its ticking time bomb
that is non sustainable

chorus

i’ll be here
i’ll be here waiting
i’ll be here
i’ll be here waiting

verse 2 bar 57

if you ever want to own up to your mistakes
ill be here waiting
but i don’t believe you have what it takes
this is so frustrating
you’re not a man
a real man would never hit a woman
wouldn’t cheat, leave her with two kids
drain the bank account
and never speak again
multiple trips to atms to get the maximum amount
are you f-ckin kiddin’
i got family tryin’ to defend him
“oh just give him a chance
people are different out on their own
i’m sure he wants forgiveness
come on, all wounds can be sewn!”
really? you knew how he was at home?
there were times jordyn and i would beg mom
not to leave us alone with him
we developed a fear of him
you should of seen him when he would drink
he’d get into your face, make your heart sink
abundance of alcohol you smelled when he would speak
made your stomach weak
it seemed to be like this every day of the week
imagine as a kid watchin’
your dad back your mom into the corner with a knife
she slaps him, and he backs away laughin’
like the joker on batman
you tell me you would forgive him!
or how about telling me
when i was fourteen that id die at 19 from heart disease
yet here i am 22 and perfectly healthy
you told me i wouldn’t amount to sh-t
but now you’re telling me your proud of me?
for some reason i can’t believe it
are you being satirical ?
i didn’t go to college
so i must not be comparable to you
i share your same name and its a d-mn shame
one of my dreams is getting that jr wiped clean

chorus

- johnny n lyrics

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