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demons - johniepee lyrics

[verse 1]
yeah
am i good person? i dunno
i like to dream about a me that i desire to know
i’ll find a queen and plant a seed and then provide a home
and fill it all with dreams, until she leaves or i decide to go, that’s what my parents did
whoomp there it is
splitting hairs and sh-t, needing sp-ce, so they vacate, til they tear a bit
til everything’s irrelevant, the revenant, not bearing it
and acting like you never made commitments brother, yeah, you did
only child running round, so i made mistakes
funny how it only took a queen to f-cking raise an ace
and now i sit up in my place and reminisce on days i raised
my fist up to the sky while i be contemplating razor blades
knife to my chest, ’cause i was dying to rest
in a time where nothing seemed to climb but the toll, d-mn
and now i sit aside the best, with all these rhymes that i’ve bled, so when i’m gone, nothing’s trapped in my soul, yeah

[interlude 1]
“king arthur’s knights, who sit at the round table because they’re all roughly equal, go off to find the most valuable thing, and they—and where do you look for the most valuable thing when you don’t know where it is? well, each of the knights looks at the forest surrounding the castle and enters the forest at the point that looks darkest to him.”

[verse 2]
too much to write about the sh-t it feel
numb inside, like frozen over oceans, i’ve been overdosing on these bitter pills
and even though the moments have eroded me, i fill a quil
and spill out every tear soaked lyric until you feel a chill
down your spinal chord, i’m kinda bored with borderline
living, moving forward, they say they k!ll it, well i’ll slaughter mine
you had it hard and so did i, we made it, lets not wallow much
keep feeding positivity and the darkness never swallows us
but sometimes, i’d rather sleep and never wake up over basic sh-t
when i really need to find my inner peace and where the patience lives
i pray to jesus, coupled by the demons
laughing in my f-cking face and sh-t, i’m f-cking up relationships
’cause it be fitting my schema, demons feeding, by the age of 6
backpack to a mattress, never had dad or a place to live
so i’m still living out these patterns, like a jaded kid
crack a smile while feeling paper thin, but i ain’t caving in
i think

[interlude 2]
“the gateway to wisdom, and the gateway to development of personality, which is exactly the same thing, is precisely through the portal that you do not want to climb through. and the reason for that’s actually quite technical. well, there’s a bunch of things about you that are underdeveloped and a lot of those things are—because those things you’ve avoided looking at.”

[verse 3]
check
stuck internal with the dialogue
feel complete up on the surface, but i lie a lot
it’s like a part of me is screaming out for help via these lyrics that you vibin’ on
but no one pays attention and you wonder why we die a lot, d-mn..
got me triple x’in’, so i fight myself
and got me tripping on my exes till i find myself
i need some solitary confinement and rhyming helps
but i’ma beat around the bush, like israelites the bible tells
me about, i’d read about them in my younger days
call it naivety, or evil me, but something change
i still believe and know the key for me is up in faith
hopefully he sees in me, believing me, not up in flames
the question is, am i good enough for plans he made?
of course i am and i believe it, with no fancy name
so i could quit tomorrow knowing that i’ve made a change
in someone else’s life, i pray tonight they never be the same

[interlude 3]
“well, there’s a bunch of things about you that are underdeveloped and a lot of those things are—because those things you’ve avoided looking at, because you don’t wanna look at them. and there’s part of you you’ve avoided developing because it’s hard for you to develop those parts. and so it’s by virtual necessity that what you need is where you don’t wanna look, because that’s where you’ve kept it.”

- johniepee lyrics

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