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talking hetero blues - john rodney lyrics

[intro]
okay, we’re gonna do a funny song, “talking hetero blues”

[verse 1]
well the weather was perfect and the moon was bright
and i decided i would go out on the town tonight
i was feeling friendly, my hair looked nice
and my jeans were fitting tight
and i had all the confidence of a medicore white man

[verse 2]
well, the nearest place wasn’t very far
so i hopped on inside my car
drove on down to a little roadside bar
some place called big daddy’s

[verse 3]
well now, i’m a queer, but i’m country too
so i figurеd i’d stay for a drink or two
the whiskey was cheap and thе beer was cold
and i was woefully unaware of the events about to unfold

[verse 4]
well, i was sitting on the barstool nursing a beer
when i couldn’t help but overhear
two big fellas way in the back
who was having themselves a shouting match
one of them called the other one a f*ggot
and they decided to fight about it
and they started wrestling
[verse 5]
and now, there’s nothing quite like two grown men rolling around on the floor together
attempting to prove their heteros*xuality
sounds pretty g*y to me, but h*ll, what do i know?

[verse 5]
well, this clearly wasn’t the place for me
but no sooner than i had turned to leave
some guy walked up, said his name was earl
and told me my hair looked like a girl’s
said, “thank you, earl, but just so you know, my pr*nouns are he/him.”
and earl said, “who’s he?”
said, “no, earl, those are—those are my pr*nouns.”
and earl said, “what the f*ck are pr*nouns?”

[verse 6]
well, i decided to go before things got ugly
and find myself some better company
and i didn’t come there looking for touble
so i left big daddy’s on the double
faster than you can say, “heteronormative society”
and faster than you can say, “fragile masculinity”

- john rodney lyrics

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