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middleman - john prine lyrics

i was sitting in a diner
with a girl named flo
she wouldn’t say yes
but she couldn’t say no
she said “darling, can i get a middle man? ”
she was engaged to a fellow
on the lay a way plan
but she carried all her money
in a coffee can
she said “darling, can i get a middle man? ”
the cook looked over
with a short order face
dropped a fork
and he saw flo’s legs
straightened his apr-n
and burnt my eggs
i got compet-tion
everywhere i go
these days

she was leaning on the juke box
and was lookin’ real good
like natalie wood
on a pontiac hood
i said “darling, i think i need a little hand”
ya see, i’ve seen my downs
i’ve seen my ups
i seen miniature dogs
in coffee cups
but “darling i ain’t never seen a middle man”

flo talked slow
like real wet paint
she said
“a middle man’s there
when the other ones ain’t
he’s got a left handed manner
that leans to the right
sleeps all day
and keeps it up all night …”
… i got an aunt in ohio
and a boat that won’t row
some veterans insurance
and nowhere to go
“darling, can i be your middle man? ”

(spoken)
if i could get the money in that coffee can
i could open me up a lemonade stand
send all the kids off to pakistan
make flo happy
if i can

jerry mahoney and johnny b. goode
are gonna buy me a house in hollywood
“darling i think i got the perfect plan”
“we’re gonna save half a dollars
and sell ’em to france
buy us a record
and learn how to dance
and darling i’ll always be your middle
darling go buy a griddle
darling i wanna be your middle man

- john prine lyrics

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