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the gnu song - john lithgow lyrics

a year ago, last thursday, i was strolling in the zoo when i met a man who thought he knew the lot
he was laying down the law about the habits of baboons
and the number of quills a porcupine has got
so i asked him, “what’s that creature there?”
he answered, “it’s a h*elk.”
i might have gone on thinking that was true
if the animal in question hadn’t put that chap to shame
and remarked: “i hain’t a h*elk! i’m a g*nu!

i’m a g*nu, i’m a g*nu
the g*nicest work of g*nature in the zoo
i’m a g*nu, how d’you do?
you really ought to k*now w*ho’s w*ho!
i’m a g*nu, spelled g*n*u
i’m g*not a camel or a kangaroo
so let me introduce
i’m g*neither man or moose
oh g*no g*no g*no, i’m a g*nu!”

i had taken furnished lodgings down at rustington*on*sea
whence i travelled on to ashton*under*lyne
and the second night i stayed there, i was wakened from a dream
which i’ll tell you all about… some other time
among the hunting trophies on the wall above my head
stuffed and mounted, was a face i thought i knew
[spoken]
a bison? no, it’s not a bison
an okapi? i don’t think it’s an okapi
could it be, uh, a hartebeest?

[singing]
when i seemed to hear a voice

“i’m a g*nu
i’m a g*nu! a g*nother g*nu
i wish i could g*nash my t**th at you
i’m a g*nu, how d’you do?
you really ought to k*now w*ho’s w*ho!
i’m a g*nu, spelled g*n*u
call me bison or okapi and i’ll sue
g*nor am i in the least like that dreadful hartebeest
oh, g*no, g*no, g*no, i’m a g*nu
g*no, g*no, g*no, i’m a g*nu!
g*no, g*no, g*no
i’m a g*nu!”

- john lithgow lyrics

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