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every christian music video - john crist lyrics

[intro]
mm, mm*mm*mm*mm
hmm*mm*mm*mm

[verse 1]
verse one is always shot in black and white
an unhappy couple in the middle of a fight
she’s lookin’ at a photo, he’s lookin’ out the window
raindrops always make things much more sad
(that doesn’t even rhyme, though)
n0body knows what the fight’s about today
but it must be somethin’ serious, there’s lots of bills to pay
a mildly attractive actress is a must
but not too hot to make the men stumble or l*st

[pre*chorus]
three chords and a mid tempo
we’re gonna try to rhyme this, i know
and if we can’t, then we’ll just sing oh*oh*oh*oh
is there cussin’ in the song? (heck no!)
’cause it’s safe for the family
positive, encouraging radio

[chorus]
this is every christian music video
oh*woah*oh, oh*woah*oh
this is every christian music video
oh*woah*oh, oh*woah*oh
[verse 2]
verse two, he’s climbin’ in his truck and leaving
becky stays at home and she’s overwhelmed in grieving
he’s passing a liquor store (oh no!), pill bottles on the floor
(so, we can’t show a christian drinkin’ a beer?
although, prescription drug abuse is actually way worse
so that doesn’t really make any sense anyway, but okay)
it’s mainly soccer moms listening to us
so we have to make it clear that it’s the man who ****ed things up (i said messed!)

[pre*chorus]
three chords and a mid tempo
found this on vrbo
here’s a diversity cameo (another one!)
is there cussin’ in the song? (heck no!)
’cause it’s safe for the family
positive, encouraging radio

[chorus]
this is every christian music video
oh*woah*oh, oh*woah*oh
this is every christian music video
oh*woah*oh, oh*woah*oh

[bridge]
he finds a bible when he opens up the drawer
and somehow now he’s in a church from 1864
the moral of the story is it works out in the end
’cause he tells her that he loves her and he’ll never sin again
yeah, he tells her that he lovers her and he’ll never sin again (amen!)
[pre*chorus]
three chords and a mid tempo
v*neck so my tattoos show
everybody’s singin’ in a happy home
did they see a therapist? (heck no!)
but they’re back in church (front row!)
lookin’ perfect in the instagram post

[chorus]
this is every christian music video
oh*woah*oh, oh*woah*oh
this is every christian music video
oh*woah*oh, oh*woah*oh
this is every christian music video

[outro]
okay, is this actually like a really good song, for real?
wait, are we gonna be rich from this?

- john crist lyrics

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