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a doxxology - john coyne lyrics

john coyne: one more
woman: one more!

i wipe the cheeto dust off of my fingers
and look down at my screen
i’m gonna write the funniest tweet you’ve ever seen
equal parts self effacing
absurd and obscene
quirky, poignant, and exactly what i mean
there’s still some cheeto on my fingers so i l!ck them clean

all the power and the glory are yours, o lord
but the retweets are all mine

i’m the** i’m the** i’m the most unique person in all of online
i’m the reason thе moon beams and the sun doth shine
and i want it to look likе i don’t know whether or not you know

as my fingernails give off a yellow halo cheeto glow

he made a mountain of olives, he made the red sea
he made the mustard seeds, he made you and me
he separated dark from light, made day from night
he made what must be hundreds hours i spent on the sh*tter looking on twitter

all the power and the glory are yours, o lord
but the retweets are all mine
all the power and the glory are yours, o lord
but the retweets are all mine
some guy once said “there’s a spark of light in every word that’s spoken,”
could be the holy, could be the broken
could be the message in however many characters or less
but my point is most times it’s impossible to tell
what’s a stairway to heaven and what’s a slip n’ slide to h*ll
and when we sin, whatever that means
to whom do we confess?

now the cheeto on my screen is a sort of a paste
and i think how a soul is a bad thing to waste
i think of how a soul is a bad thing to waste
a soul is a bad thing to waste

all the power and the glory are yours, o lord
all the power and the glory are yours, o lord

- john coyne lyrics

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