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this thing - john behlmann, santino fontana lyrics

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max
what is this thing i’m feeling?
bubbling up inside me?
lifting me toward the ceiling?
dorothy, dorothy, dorothy, dorothy, dorothy

neighbor [spoken]
hey, shut up! people live here!

max
what is this sound i’m hearing?
is it a bell to guide me?
out of thin air appearing?
dorothy, dorothy, do-o-o-o-o-o-o–

neighbor [spoken]
hey! shut up! shut the f-ck up!

max
what is this thing that makes me toss in my bed
cuz i’m racked with distracting desires
this thing, god it’s jammed in my head
like a nail and i can’t find the pliers
get it out, i exclaim
then i think of your name
and i feel like a moth
heading right for the female moth
that moth is you
what can i do?
what is this thing that i’m feeling?
it’s odd. you’re so old i’m so young
and my abs are like slabs of fine granite
my bod is like gold, and i’m hung
and you’re old, oh i said that, but d-mn it
i don’t care you’re not thin
you’re under my skin
i know something special’s
about to be starting real soon
i’m over the moon
what is this thing?
what is this thing?
this thing has me worried and scared
but it’s finally time to reveal it
it’s right and it’s big and it wants to be shared
and i need you to reach down and feel it
yes i will love you forever
no i’m not bashful to prove it

michael (as dorothy) [spoken]
is that me?

max
yes it’s a little infected
no i will never remove it
this thing will remain like a permanent stain
like a voice that keeps taunting a haunting refrain
like that wonderful spike that you drove in my brain
this thing
this thing
called you

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