torture & depression - joey deville lyrics
[intro]
i love p-ssy, i love weed
i want the money, the fame
i love this game that i’m ashamed i play – but
i wouldn’t change a thing ’cause i’m obsessed with music
i feel so depressed and stupid
i’m great, but have yet to prove it
[verse 1]
i hope that i’m the next to blow
’cause i’ve invested dough
and i done stepped in shows and studios
with impressive flows
i’ll sit and meditate, visualizin’ heaven’s gate
pullin’ out these extra great blessings that i’ll emulate
and manifest, won’t hesitate believin’
anything i’m dreamin’ even when these demons schemin’
lookin’ at me when i’m screamin’, uhh
i’m afraid ’cause it feel like i’m dead
and the voice that’s inside of my head
all the blood that i bled
every tear shed keeps on soakin’ the bed
and i’m taking my meds, numbin’ the pain
stuck in my brain goin’ f-ckin’ insane
up on this plane while i’m puffin’ this jane
[verse 2]
i don’t wanna sober, i wanna be stoner
until it’s all over i am a loner alone in my zone gettin’ colder
i know that my world’s on my shoulders
i hold her and fight like a soldier
i promised myself i won’t fold up
i’m never gon’ fold up, that’s word to the end
word to the words in my verses i pen
word for the person that’s hurtin’ to vent
searchin’ for zen in the worst of events
lurkin’ for friends but dealin’ with snakes
the feelin’ is fake when sh-t isn’t great
still gotta smile, still got a child, still gotta work at a place that you hate
just to eat you plate, can you relate?
if i’ma die, can you give me the date?
i don’t want to die, i want to escape, f-ck!
i don’t wanna die yet…
[interlude]
d-mn, i’m sorry…
[outro]
i got lost in my mind
but i think about it all the time
i’d be lying if i said that dying
don’t give me no fear
’cause it could be near
making me question why am i here
i don’t know how
i don’t know why
i just know i’m watching time flying by
drying my eyes
feeling so numb
feeling so dumb
of what i become – like
yo, just cut this sh-t off
i don’t feel like rapping right now…
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