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4 years - joey alana lyrics

[verse 1]
didn’t have the b-lls to pick up when my momma called
she like, “you f-ckin’ with them drugs?”
i’m like, “no momma, not at all”
as i’m nodding off, thinkin’ ’bout the cost of my actions
has too much talent, was turnin’ into a “has-been”
head go into a taz spin
bad headache from comin’ down from the drugs
so i pop another asprin, sick of all this actin’
call my brother like, “bro i need some money
i’m so sorry for askin'”
four years, four years, that’s what i lost in my life
threw it all down the drain for a drug that i liked
started off in the bas-m-nt while i was mixin’ the sprite
started off feelin’ cool when i would spit on the mic
that’s four years, four years, when i couldn’t see clear
i couldn’t look up at myself, i couldn’t stare in the mirror
and year after year, i was consumed by fear
losin’ all my faith in god, like, “what the f-ck i’m doin’ here?”
lost with no direction, four years, four years
tryna find my warmth in god, but it’s just too cold here
stories of turnin’ your life around weren’t ever told here
four years, four years
i said, four years, four years of me feelin’ so worthless
overdosin’ when i’m dreaming of a world that’s so perfect
and my girl she been hurtin’, got a job that she workin’
pays her good, but i always take the money then burn it
burnin’ inside, yeah, i’m k!llin’ myself
it’s hard to know just who you are, feel like your someone else
it doesn’t help when you alter your mind to p-ss the time
and then you golden, then you count the time it takes until you feel hopeless and broken
hopin’ for a way out, but homie you must be jokin’
four years, yeah, i said, four years

[verse 2]
you f-ckin’ asked for this! you f-ckin’ wanted this!
you came into this situation and k!lled you heart with this!
face the facts; you not a saint, you ain’t jesus from nazareth!
you ain’t gon’ make it, your mindset is way too hazardous!
mad at this world, so let’s just see how mad he gets
and keep pushin’ his limits ’til f-ck it, finally tragic hits
houdini magic tricks, man them drugs- they got ‘em fooled
finally looked at myself and told me, “they got ahold of you”
turn on the news, saw a kid my age only 22
overdosed inside his momma’s bas-m-nt doin’ what i do
using what i use, drugs that we abuse, yeah
d-mn near k!llin’ you, who really would’ve knew?
that we can’t handle it
when you lose it all and on the corner panhandlin’
people recognize you sayin’
“there goes that man again, lifeless
lookin’ half alive, yeah he lookin’ like a mannequin”
d-mnit can i figure this out?
’cause i’m damagin’ my mind
turned to the dark side, call me anakin
panickin’ like where i go from here?
thinkin’ to myself, “where will i be in four years
where will i be in four years?”
four years

- joey alana lyrics

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