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talking oklahoma blues - joel t. mosman lyrics

well the mouth of oklahoma is dry
it begs a drink from the stingy skies
so the clouds whip it up like a cheap c-cktail
with bits of broken 2x4s, some cedar trees, and dresser drawers
come barreling like a freight train through the back door
now, i ain’t got no ‘fraidy hole
because i’m broke like henry dave thoreau
and my ‘walden pond’ is just a dried up hole

since my house got blown away i went to work to get my pay
but the boss man wasn’t nowhere to be found
they said “he’s at the barber shop” (to cut his hair and cut my job)
“just take a little off the side” he says
“because it’s all about that bottom line
and squeezing sweat from every dime
us upper-crusters got to eat some too! well, some of us do…
the rest are just robots that feed on greed”

i saw the doc to ease my pain and he gave me 16 pills a day
the he said he had to go because he had a date
his date was the prescription rep and he said
“don’t forget to read the side effects
and if you can’t read i got something for that too!”
i said “what do you mean hooked on phonics?”
he said “ha! ha! hooked on something!”

he left with that drug company woman
and i asked the receptionist how much i owed them
she started running numbers into a machine
she said “$500 for the doctor fee
and another $500 for the klozopine
and another $100 just because you had to ask”
i said “that’s fine, here’s my health insurance”
she said “insurance?
oh honey, they cancelled you as soon as you walked in the door!”

i left that place i was half berated
and the other half was plum sedated
so i forgot what i was mad about in the first place
i fell asleep in the parking lot
and got called a ‘vagrant’ by the cops
and they hauled me off to finish my nap in a jail cell
i woke up in a courtroom
with a judge screaming across the room
saying what a bad, bad man i’d been
i said “yes sir, your honor, that’s no joke
if by ‘bad’ you mean i’m busted, broke
and homeless with a mile of debt to boot!”
i said “if you put me in a jail cell i guess that would be just as well
because i’d have more there than i do right here right now!”
so they locked me up and the warden said “welcome home!”

so thanks america for the cot in this nice hotel of hard knocks
your tax dollars keep the bills paid around here
but your money would be much better spent if it don’t let that next tornado get
another life and home in its path
good luck with that!

- joel t mosman lyrics

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