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put on pages - joel (sweden) lyrics

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always been a thinking person, as a child i was observant
as i grew older i learned to read certain people, became -ssertive
like i know that i’m talented, just not enough extrovertive
never been the most confident, talking publicly was nervous

like i never had the courage, been pondering what’s my purpose?
or is it all really worthless?
i wanna be remembered when they close up my curtains
don’t wanna be another tomb stone ended up left deserted

more subversive, turning to a morbid person
beyond reversive, like turning to a morning person
i’m the type to “hate waking up every morning”-person
more the type who’s “wide awake until the morning”-person

write my verses in, a state of mind of diversion
a way of escaping reality, and find what’s hurting
i try to go deep inside of my mind, where it’s lurking
insecurities confusing me, hope these words can..

_________

[chorus]
explain how i’m holding on to
what came out of all this awful

pain i put on pages, captured certain stages
maintain the same focus, hope it don’t changes

explain how i’m holding on to
what came out of all this awful

pain i put on pages, captured certain stages
maintain the same focus, hope it don’t changes
______

i’m just staring at myself, in this bathroom cabinet
disappointed at myself, for this actual habit
to actively stagnate myself, and manage
to turn this talent i have to a disadvantage

concerned about the damage, that this could have it’s a
self-destructive pattern, to be this manic
always doubted myself, it’s a repeat pattern
wasn’t proud of how it felt, a bittersweet taste after

my writing’s p-ssed yours, confidence to fit a pocket
might come off as adverse, or reluctant
and i don’t mean to be redundant
but problems, they come in abundance
and i’ve had enough of it, f-ck it

might even come as a surprise, but i regret next to nothing
every flaw helped design, this drive of becoming something

this strive of becoming something, bottled up enough in
side of myself and i don’ wanna continue running
away from something, i can’t escape this thumping ache inside my chest, that came out of nothing

maybe if i protected myself enough to trust ’em i wouldn’t be bugging, maybe this…

_________________________________

[chorus]
explain how i’m holding on to
what came out of all this awful

pain i put on pages, captured certain stages
maintain the same focus, hope it don’t changes

explain how i’m holding on to
what came out of all this awful

pain i put on pages, captured certain stages
maintain the same focus, hope it don’t changes
_________________________________

- joel sweden lyrics

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