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fapping - joe enormous lyrics

[verse 1]
mom gets home, she closes the door
she sees something bad, sees it on the floor
so she tastes it and she gets a bad feeling
it’s all over the floor, the walls, and the ceiling
so she marches upstairs and walks into my room
she says, “clean this up,” and she hands me a broom
she asks, “what is this?” and i say, “don’t play dumb,”
“don’t you know, mom, that this is all my c-m?”

[hook]
cause i’m fapping, on the door you’re tapping
you think i’m napping, i’m really jacking off
i keep tissues in my room but i don’t have a cough
cause all i really want to do is jack off

[verse 2]
all i do is look at p-rn
i’ve been jerking off since the day i was born
i like blonde girls, big girls, black girls, white girls
i like all girls, i even like baby girls
never do my homework, i’m failing geography
the only thing i do is watch child p-rnography

[verse 3]
someone suck my radioactive b-lls
if you need s-xual favors, you know who to call
put me on speed-dial, #69
i’m looking for my d-ck, it’s so hard to find
i’m talking ’bout f-cking, i’m thinking ’bout f-cking
i went to school for professional trucking
jerking off is smelling and f-cking is tasting
i spent eighteen hours today playing crash team racing
if you’re old enough to read, my d-ck she doesn’t need
i shouldn’t be a babysitter, i forget to feed
if she’s old enough to walk, if she’s old enough to talk
she’s way too old for my big–ss c-ck
if i don’t m-st-rbate someone dies
i like to c-m in yo’ mama’s pies
sometimes i wish that my dad was dead
so finally my mom could give me head
my dentist has hair on the tip of his d-ck
he puts it in my mouth then he gets sick
the moral of the story is “let me f-ck you”
“let me fill your -ss with glue”

[aside]
i really hope no one is home right now, i’m yelling really loud

- joe enormous lyrics

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