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cleaning - joaquín villegas lyrics

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[verse 1]
the way i’ve lived is thinking everyone is perfect
and i’m half brained with two left feet and a birth defect
that i’m somehow always two steps behind
that i’m weak coffee, have to put in twice the grind

artistic anorexia, mediocre mind
i’m caught under an avalanche and still have to climb
there’s no time, no bedtime, it’s showtime, pick the pace up
just to chime, its no dime; what’s the hold up?
i don’t aim for the board, but what’s past it
at least six past til i’m six feet in a casket
and the idea of death is something that i dread
wish i could skip the end like a loaf of bread

running from inevitable, punching crept up walls
riptides my conscious, forces out wailing calls
quaking joints rumble as my mentality crumbles
crisis of midlife happen to anyone

a piece of mind has always been word of mouth
pondering pandemonium, emotions going about
slightly sociopathic; sometimes i don’t care
though i know that i should, don’t think i’m unaware

emotions apathetic at various circ-mstances
got the brushes and the pigments but i just don’t use the canvas
you haven’t even seen the painting
and already you’re interpreting

and i wish that i could get thoughts out of my head
and i wish i could write more than i have misread
and i wish that i could say that i never fled
and i wish that i could say that i never bled

answers to questions just open up more
taking a step doesn’t mean its forward
the closer you get, the further you reach
and sometimes happy with your work is a figure of speech

[interlude]

-sigh- this uh- this track feels so freakin’ empty. uh- i- i could add; let me add strings, let me add strings

-sigh- that’s better. um. still, uh, ok ok i’m gonna add a snare; another snare. uh, another hi-hat too. uh, shaker; a shaker. an-another instrument, and… tsk. uh, uh -sigh-look, i have to keep adding to this it just sounds so -sigh- its not ready, it-it- just doesn’t- it doesn’t sound ready

i-i-i-i could add this, i- i could add that; i-i- i could add this and that. it just doesn’t….it just doesn’t sound-

[verse 2]

i know my flaws, my sins, and my vices
i know the opinion of me is divisive
i know that for some the look of me they can’t stand
and i know that for others would die for this man

i’m a narcissist with low self esteem
an insomniac with too many dreams
the greediest philanthropist to ever behold
the biggest -sshole with the heart of gold

i’m an optimist with their gl-ss half empty
the guy that bores you excitingly
stubborn as can be, always so reasonable
pretty complex, always that simple

but i’ll never apologize for being me
never for being joaquin
mr. kanye west said it as best as he can
everything i’m not made me everything i am

so say what you will and you probably will do
think what you want, it’s your choice to
fix what is thought of me, or misconstrue
but i know who i am, and that will do

- joaquin villegas lyrics

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