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trouble and strife* - joan osborne lyrics

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well there once was a man called broadway jim
he had the idea i was in love with him
he came real close looked into my eyes
said i never met a man that i couldn’t despise
then he cut off my tail with a carving knife
give me ten long years of trouble and strife

well the nice young men from the rodeo
came down to virginia just to say h*llo
they brought a lot of rifles and they brought a lot of guns
lord they were tryna have some good clean fun
next thing you know you’re runnin’ for your life
for ten long years of trouble and strife

well i once had a man he was tall and lean
he treated me like a superstar queen
we had a little cat got stuck in a tree
so we played him a record by peggy lee
he said who is that woman? gotta make her my wife
give her ten long years of trouble and strife

there once was a girl called sally g
and she built herself a nest in a redwood tree
said goodbye to her mother said goodbye to her boss
sold her possessions at a terrible loss
then they tried to cut it down with a switchblade knife
took ’em ten long years of trouble and strife
i think i’m gonna move down to new orleans
buy myself a pair of designer jeans
gonna see what’s cookin’ gonna make the rounds
by the time i’m finished weigh a thousand pounds
it’s a doggone shame it’s the story of my life
ten long years of trouble and strife

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