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disco ball - jo foster lyrics

[intro]
oh nancy, darling, baby
ain’t it obvious?
i mean, you already said it, kid
it’s because i’m like a disco ball

yeah i’m a disco ball
i spin it, if you walk upon this feeling
i’m sparkly and i’m fun and crucially i’m hung from the ceiling
you’re far away from me
if you weren’t then it would be such a difference
cause when people get too close
oops baby heaven knows, well it ain’t pretty

so i never let ’em get too close
never let ’em stay too long
they’ll see me in the light
(for all night)
i gotta keep it all going
i gotta keep ’em from knowing what’s inside

so i spin and i spin and i spin
dazzling like i’m like a disco ball
and i stay far away, up above, and you love it
i’m a disco ball
if i try to let you close
you would notice i’m nothing like you thought i was at all
but no one notices (no)
cause everybody’s dancing round the disco ball

watch me spin, spin, spin, spin, spin, spin, spin
like i’m a disco ball
watch me spin, spin, spin, spin, spin, spin, spin
like i’m a disco ball

yeah i learned long ago if i don’t put on a show
they’ll keep that distance
and people count you go
(disappointment) (f*g) (h0m*)
just for instance

when i have let people in
there’s tended to have been a bit of blowback
like
(‘[?] but i’m not g*y’)
(‘i wish you’d dress a different way’)
such a throwback

but gotta keep it all going
gotta keep it all glowing
[?]
never gonna show you
things that go ‘woo*woo’ inside
so i spin and i spin and i spin
dazzling like i’m a disco ball
so the me that you see isn’t real
no big deal, you’ll have a disco ball

cause when i spin, spin, spin
in the club
no one ever sees the cracks at all
no one notices (no)
cause everybody’s dancing round the disco ball

watch me spin, spin, spin, spin, spin, spin, spin
like i’m a disco ball
watch me spin, spin, spin, spin, spin, spin, spin
like i’m a disco ball

[spoken monologue]
hey, is this thing on?
how’s it going folks?
thank you so much for coming out
if i had a penny for every time i heard that when i was 14
i’d have no pennies
so i’ve got this friend, let’s call her nancy
cause that’s her name
and she’s all like
‘why you gotta put on a show all the time?’
‘why can’t you be more vulnerable?’
‘has that not worked out well for you in the past?’
well, as the staffordshire wildlife reserve said to me when i tried to renew my membership
‘it ain’t gonna happen kid’
(laughter)
cause when you grow up in… what’s it called?
‘the world in which we live’
you know, they called you a g*y in the playground
and you don’t know what it means
but you just know it’s the worst possible insult
and you know when you pop on the telly
and it’s a comedy
where the person’s throwing up because they didn’t realise that the woman they were kissing is trans
basically, when you grow up in ‘that world’
you’re going to kind of have it instilled into you
that queerness is about as embarrassing, disgusting, unnatural, immoral and wrong as pineapple on pizza
(laughter)
and then if…
one day, you slowly start to suspect
that that thing
that thing that everybody hates
that thing that is the last thing you’d want to be in the entire world
that thing is what you are
unchangeably at your core, wow!
you are going to learn to apply all those pesky little words
anyone?
(shouted words of abuse)
you are going to learn to apply them all to yourself, baby
and that is all before you give anyone else the chance
but it’s all good
it’s all groovy
cause you can just turn yourself into a little disco ball
for show
no one wants to see the broken ugly pieces of a disco ball up close
but they don’t mind them so much when they’re making the room sparkle
so who cares…
why those guys would not be seen with me?
why no one wants the authentic me?
why those strangers threw that shade at me?
why their words hurt but deep down i don’t disagree
why everyone i love’s ashamed of me
why my parents wouldn’t look at me
why it’s only dark inside of me
like a disco ball it all away

so i spin and i twirl, to the world all i am is a disco ball
so i’m fractured and cracked, that’s exactly what attracts you to a disco ball
and though it’s great and the tone that they take kinda makes me think it’s not sustainable
it’s alright cause at least for the night you keep dancing round the disco ball
so come on here i am, come on, who’s gonna use me like a disco ball?
you can’t love me for me, that’s ok, you can love me like a disco ball
and sure i’m hanging on by a thread, any minute there’s a risk i’ll fall
got no choice, cause i know i’m so much better off if i’m a disco ball
dance along, can’t be wrong, how bout used to you wouldn’t choose a disco ball?
who’d prefer all of this ugliness to the party like a disco ball?

not me that’s for sure
to [?] i’m really not a fan at all
so come on let’s go
let’s everybody dance around the disco ball

watch me spin, spin, spin, spin, spin, spin, spin
like i’m a disco ball

watch me spin, spin, spin, spin, spin
like a stupid f*cking disco ball

watch me spin, spin, spin, spin
spin, spin, spin, spin
spin, spin, spin, spin
spin, spin, spin, spin
spin, spin, spin, spin
spin, spin, spin
like i’m a disco ball

- jo foster lyrics

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