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heart - jj shadow lyrics

[verse]
i wake up in the sun everyday of the week
and pray to god i hope i get lost in the sheets
by the end of the week, tell myself, it’s the end and i’m weak
and sometimes forget how to breathe
it’s not a lot of fun but this sh*t never is
i’ve seen a figure walking ’round my mind like it’s nothing
i feel the presence, but not gift wrapped with an essence
it brings me back to life like evanescence
i feel like a give so much and never get back which i don’t mind but it’s tiring when all you have
is a couple of photoshops to show for it
i used to see opportunities and go for them
but now i just go home and scroll forums
it’s so boring, i’ve never given sh*t
off my friends, can’t be f*cked
i see the whole world as a state of eruption
but i used to love the land i breathed
and always felt that a home was there for me
while my mum and family will always be there
when the earth is parting it seems a bit weird
disconnected from everyone and everything
even myself, half these words don’t mean sh*t to me
they feel forced and not in a jedi sense
but if one thing is for sure i miss my f*cking friends
all my old friends, what lasts forever, nothing
why they always gotta say that sh*t? i can’t believe, because it’s true and i’m always stuck in disbelief
so i’m working on this album and some of the songs are cool but most of them are childish
“peace” f*cking sucks and i f*cked my line up on this one track i made titled “colours” and now i can’t rerecord it and it’s really f*cking p*ssing me off
i didn’t wanna go off
as a kid, i would try and win and show off but i had no friends and got called a b*tch who got angry at everything
i deserve better? i don’t deserve sh*t
even my teacher said my life was worthless
i tried to k!ll myself then and i never intend to give up
most think i’m disgusting. i think i’m disgusting
my heart hurts and all i do is try to love
i ain’t saying i’m good for that or that i’m nice but
i really do try, even if half the time i fail
so i spent my time on this music sh*t
seeing if myself would prevail
but nothing’s f*cking changed. i ain’t free from my chains

- jj shadow lyrics

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