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little bits and pieces - jim stafford lyrics

ain’t it strange how your conscience seems to disappear at night
but it’s right there in the morning, when you open up your eyes
yeah, you’re starin’ at the ceiling, and it whispers in your ear
why’d you have to hit the whiskey, when the party ran out of beer?
and it hands your mind the picture that gives you the shiverin’ heebie*jeebies
look out! here comes the night before in little bits and pieces

did i really kiss his wife? (yeah, you really kissed his wife)
in the bathroom in the dark? (in the bathroom, in the dark)
did he turn on the light? (yeah, he turned on the light)
did he hit me kind of hard? (yeah, he hit you kinda hard)
the more that you remember, the more your self*respect decreases
but you can’t stop the night before from coming back in bits and pieces…

yeah, you did some bad things, being drunk ain’t no excuse
you sure gave your friends a good look at the stupid side of you
and you close your eyes and grit your t**th an’ try to squeeze it from your head
and sometimes it works and you shake it off, but you ain’t out of this one yet
’cause every thirty minutes all day long your mind releases
more pictures of the night before in little bits and pieces

did i try to k!ll their cat? (yeah, you chased him down the hall)
was i laughin’ at their curtains? (yeah, you tore them off the wall)
did i scream at everybody? (yeah, you called them dirty names)
well, it must have been the whiskey! (yeah, you outta be ashamed)
the more that you remember, the more your self*respect decreases
and you can’t stop the night before from coming back in bits and pieces…

did i set fire to their curtains? (just to test the smoke alarm)
did i take off all my clothes? (you said the room was gettin’ warm)
did i put my clothes back on? (you put on pantyhose instead)
well, at least i wasn’t naked! (no, you wore them on your head)
did i boss come to the party? (it was at your bosses house!)
did i tell him i was sorry? (he said, ‘bite it, mighty mouse!’)
did i really kiss his wife? (in the bathroom, in the dark)
in the bathroom in the dark? (yeah, he hit you kinda hard)
did i try to k!ll their cat? (yeah, you chased him down the hall)
was i laughin’ at their curtains? (yeah, you tore them off the wall)
did i scream at everybody? (yeah, you called them dirty names)
did i take off all my clothes? (you outta be ashamed)

- jim stafford lyrics

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