catastrophic thinking - jim bulleit lyrics
your cats are trying to k!ll you
they tirelessly plot your demise
you think that they’re playing
but it’s practice for slaying you
some night as you just close your eyes
you feed them, you pet them, you groom them
you buy them the treats that they like
you think that they’re purring
but they’re really conferring
deciding the best time to strike
if you believe that they’re innocent
you’re sure to be caught unawares
trust me, it’s surely no accident
that they sleep at the top of your stairs
your cats are intending to ‘off’ you
as onto your bedspread, they creep
you think that they’re dreaming
but really they’re scheming
to asphyxiate you in your sleep
you tell others that they adore you
from whiskers to dainty white paws
but i’ve got some news for you
they’d just as soon gore you
or slash you with their vicious claws
you can believe you’re their favorite
that they need you to see to their care
but cats are quite independent
and they’ll dine on your carcass, i swear
your cats are determined to end you
so i hope that you’ll heed my advice
escape while you can
before they hatch their plan
or you’ll wind up like so many mice
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