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monstrous (remix of sing about me by kendrick lamar) - jesterflows lyrics

[hook 1 x2]
monster, monster
ridicule my bond
to the vilified calm
state of mind i find constant
hit the brake, pause?
i can do it if i want to
just another con
that it fabricates to haunt you

[verse 1 – his vices]
i was an atheist
my alias for heaven is a high
and my redeemer lives
he came to me in my depression
stretching out an arm, i took it
closed my fist, my fingers crooked
shook the hand that gave a man a will to live again
i’m focused
dedicated everything i had
a single visitation turned into a ritualistic act
the spiritual experience, it ushered me along the path
completely, i’m devoted
to the ecstasy, the seething wrath
but math was never one of my greatest pursuits
when he offered he would purchase
i couldn’t refuse
for what was life without a purpose
or a sense of satisfaction?
only i know what my worth is
i was really glad to cash in
what a bargain to barter away
a hardened part of myself
and since the strange exchange, i’ve changed
i met the demon that dwelt
within me where my spirit
would have long ago resided
sold my soul to sow my mind
and now my goal is undivided
i hide it, and try to keep my cool
i know i’m level-headed
but i’ve been going under
i feel nothing is effective
connected, and from the deepest depths
it crept in undetected
a spiritual possession in the form of an obsession
confession: i did it to myself
i know i got the onus
the fact that i keep coming back
don’t mean that i condone this
but i’m weak, unmotivated
teach me what the best approach is
you believe my will is potent
i can break free on my own
it’s just the discipline i’m missing right?
i’m imprisoned by decisions that were ill-advised
poisoned my system
now the maintenance is consistent
fixes don’t fix my condition
i cry out for help
i’m never heard until i yell
i just want to get my life on track
but you derail

[hook 2]
monster, monster
y’all can be my sponsors
everybody knows
i’m a fiend and i’m a problem
reel in with allure
i’m the one you gon’ respond to
leave an imprint on your neck
now both of us are monsters

[verse 2 – her evils]
pallid face with a sleazy gaze that hypnotize
leather pants that accentuate my hips and thighs
on the prowl under streetlights, i’m hustlin’
trying to satiate myself with hot-blooded men
that’s the dinner plan, feeding off a sucker’s l-st
make enough to pick me up, before i turn to dust
so to stay alive, i gotta suck and swallow
bottling up my sorrow, i’m gon’ have to deal with it tomorrow
i’ve got to
i know my clock is low, my time is borrowed
the doctor told me so
and i don’t have the strength to quarrel
i’m a vampire, d-mn tired, i need a rest
i’m a damp pyre, stamped, fired, repeat the steps
slept in a casket, there’s no safety on a mattress
the m-sses dream in their sleep
when i lay down it’s disastrous
if i look into the mirror, i can’t even see myself
just the grisly sh-ll that n0body wants to deeply delve into
since i’m sinful, it’s a given i’m expendable
fenced in and defenseless
no pretenses i’ve been sentenced for…
years since i’ve been on my own
how many more ’til i’m atoned?
so many tricks i’ve had to hone
i wasn’t even fully grown
i’m stuck that way
pushing forward at a dead end
since the bite of the demon
my fate’s already set in stone
a marker of death, but in flesh i’m dressed for weddings
two bodies linked and divorced
to the johns demanding head and tail
and everything that’s in between
the things i’ve seen are quite obscene
but see a weary working teen
and she’s the monster on the scene?
then you can put me on the silver screen
a demon with a habit, and a history of madness
’cause the bad sh-t tends to happen to the lowest cl-ss
my status is a stigma, it’s a curse
i’m bearing generations of hurt
f-ck society’s words!
they don’t dictate what i am worth
my birth was not an accident
my life has purpose, so what’s happening?
i’m battling
horrors you’d never see in nightmares
i wish they would resist me
and i pray that i could fight fair
but i’m still just a commodity
and that should make you ponder
when they choke and hold and pound me
tell me, really, who’s the monster?

[verse 3 – end of daze]
i’m a monster
the contemporary version of victor frankenstein
i’m a literary surgeon
i’m an author of monstrosities
i father irresponsibly
the contents of a mausoleum const-tute my progeny
i dig through dead poets for skeletons
bare boning up the gravest plots
my thoughts are malevolent
i suture lines with elegance
my eloquence is heaven-sent
put sentience in a sentence
that’s a life
no parole, only detention
i resurrect the dead, beget my wretched lazarus
drag him out the catacombs to back a point
miraculous
his p-ssing only mattered for my magic act
theatrical
blasphemous or m-s-ch-st
the two cl-sses of b-st-rds
i’m relentless
visions of satan through prescription lenses
see through my frame of mind
the lies behind religious lessons
rip off the st-tches
read between the lines that i aligned
and recognize my signature
three sixes, crucifix combined
i am the word in the beginning
the earth was cursed the minute it was birthed
the third verse sheds some light upon the surface
dive in deep into the furthest depths
that existential furnace, burning question
what’s the purpose, huh?
and now we turn to revelations
this is an abomination
the ink is embalming fluid
so view it when i have settled
my captain, it’s now your vessel
i pray you paid close attention
and say you made those connections
the message is in their suffering
don’t tell me we’ll die for nothing!
with blessings from mother mary
this silence is temporary
don’t bury me, i’m alive
but i’m blinded to my horizon
i’m trying to byp-ss the limits
don’t box me in ’til i’m finished
the ending or new beginning?
have mercy with your decision

- jesterflows lyrics

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