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narcissus under the knife - jessica law lyrics

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my mind was ringing with echoes
when i told you to let go
when i sent you from me

now sitting here at my mirror
with the light getting dimmer
i can see myself clearly

and i’ll never reconcile
those bright eyes and flashing smile
with the mind that whirs and winds
and finds fault in all i see
but i think i’ll stay awhile
sit and stare and sulk in style

and i never said that everything would be the same
and i never promised i would be ok with change
and i never meant to hurt you
but if you feel no pain, then
that’s enough for me
that’s enough for me

looking is all i am doing
i would face my own ruin
if these looks didn’t stay
i can’t decide if i miss you
there are more pressing issues
like remaining this way

and i’ll never sympathise
with that place behind my eyes
cells that order me to lie
and buy time with money
but i’m kind of mesmerised
by the face they hide behind

and i know i need someone who feels and thinks the same
and i know that person isn’t real and can’t be named
and i never meant to spurn you
but if you feel no blame, then
that’s enough for me
that’s enough for me

i know they’ll soon come and get me
you would never have let me
reach the state i’m in now

counting the cracks in the pavement
one more day of enslavement
to the lines on my brow
just another little tweak
rolls the clock back one more week
if i could i would rewind the time i was with you
all those years i can’t reclaim
but my youth i shall retain

and i’ll never have that natural glow or natural grace
and i’ll always have to cast my spell in other ways
and these dotted lines are painful
but that’s the price i pay, and
that’s enough for me

- jessica law lyrics

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