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therapy at 43 - jesi lyrics

ellipses and an exclamation
never quite interpreted
the things that i would do for you
but then again they never do
the only way to learn the burden
of the truth
collect the words i say in lue of
all
of the mistakes that i have made
in this time of degradation
show the gov no veneration
they just monger war
co*sign the use of slaves
i can’t settle in one place
unless that place is somewhere void of human race
here’s a rock, there’s a place
hard to say, how it’s made
and below me is a dirty wretched
plague
funded by blood money
and stuff i can’t even say
you can’t say it
‘cause you say it
and they say it ain’t your place
but then again
i think i know my place
so yeah
that’s my place
i still smack a beep
in his face
need it once you get a taste
i like the feeling of knowing that
anywhere i’m safe
‘cause i ain’t afraid to go
if you get it, then get it
i ain’t scared

i just wish, it was like easier you know

why can’t sh*t be easy

but i ain’t f*cking scared

never scared

i lost my glasses on the floor in the dark
cut my hands up
to crawl through the glass
keep them secrets buried deep in the grass
you make my life way too hard
sh*t
you make my life way too hard
it’s like i stepped in with bones for a spar
i’m tryna go to the spa
i got motion
lemme take you to mars
changing heating setting
just so i can finish the cart
sh*t

i lost my glasses on the floor the dark
seeing clearly, well that’s really the start
i ain’t ever seen it clearly
i’m just playing my part
sh*t
did a whole 180
i ain’t playing no darts
but sometimes when i get too drunk
i think ‘bout sinking the raft
when i think ‘bout the past
there ain’t a lot i coulda bought with me
so either keep dreaming
or four hour meeting quarterly
i oughta be
peekaboo
you gon’ see so much more of me
i’m preaching to the choir quite deplorably
platter full of seafood
payton in the half ounce
you better pay my money right
don’t wanna see no cheque bounce
anything that got me stacking bread
until i can’t count
touched a baker’s dozen, telling peaches
bring the car round
if they can’t watch the snow fall
they can’t see the sunrise
got violence in my vocab’
can’t contribute to gun crime
civilian and still got enough stops
from the one time
emptying my bags on the street
what a fun time
but f*ck it, i ain’t bothered
plus i promise i would laugh today
i turn a different person when it’s after eight
sending messages regarding sh*t
that i would never say
i’d rather paint a picture
of a n*gga
that’s been cast away
that’s really me
you like my tracks
you like my style
okay, that’s really sweet
you touch my n*ggas
must be wild
that sh*t is really beef
you better pattern up
and make that patter really neat
‘cause who knows what might happen
when you poke the bear
and climb that tree
i hold myself up
i hold the bros up
i hold my chin up
but sh*t is still
keeping me down

but the sh*ts still keeping me down
but the sh*ts still keeping me down
it’s like perpetual

i lost my glasses on the floor in the dark
arms are hurting tryna hold up the mask
jesi ellie joel, i feel like one of the last
certain things are getting broke
you can’t just put on a cast
certain thing things are getting dry
you can’t empty the flask
i can’t touch on the past
i ain’t ever bring those thoughts with me
it’s something i’ll be talking bout in
therapy at 43

- jesi lyrics

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