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it depends on what you pay - jerry orbach, william larsen & hugh thomas lyrics

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[el gallo, spoken]
the cost, señor, depends on the quality of the rape.

[bellomy, spoken]
the what?

[el gallo, spoken]
forgive me, the attempted rape. now i know you prefer “abduction,” but the proper word is “rape.” it’s short and business*like.

(sung)
rape!
rape!
rape!
a pretty rape
such a pretty rape

we’ve the obvious open schoolboy rape
with little mandolins and perhaps a cape
the rape by coach, it’s little in request
the rapе by day, but the rape by night is best

just try to see it!
and you will soon agree, sеñors
why invite regret
when you get the sort of rape
you’ll never ever forget?
you can get the rape emphatic
you can get the rape polite
you can get the rape with indians
a very charming sight
you can get the rape on horseback
they all say it’s new and g*y
so you see the sort of rape
depends on what you pay
it depends on what you pay

[hucklebee, spoken]
the kids will love it!
it depends on what you—

[bellomy, spoken]
pay!

[hucklebee, spoken]
so why be stingy?
it depends on what you—

[el gallo]
a spectacular rape
with costumes ordered from the east
requires rehearsals
and takes a dozen men at least
a couple of singers
and a string quartet
a major production
requires a set
[bellomy, spoken]
sounds expensive.

[el gallo]
try to see it!
and you will soon sí, sí, señors
why invite regret
when you get the sort of rape
you’ll never ever forget?

you can get the rape emphatic
you can get the rape polite
you can get the rape with indians
a truly charming sight
you can get the rape on horseback
they all say it’s distingué
so you see the sort of rape
depends on what you pay

[el gallo & hucklebee]
so you see the sort of rape
depends on what you pay!

[el gallo]
it depends on what you pay!
[hucklebee & bellomy, spoken]
so why be stingy?
it depends on what you pay (pay! pay! pay!)
the kids will love it!
it depends on what you—

[el gallo]
the comic rape
perhaps it’s just a trifle too unique
romantic rape
done while canoeing on a moonlit creek

[bellomy, spoken]
that’s kind of pretty.

[el gallo]
the gothic rape
i play “valkyrie” on a bass bassoon
the drunken rape
it’s done completely in a cheap saloon

[bellomy, spoken]
nothing cheap!

[el gallo]
the rape venetian—
needs a blue lagoon
the rape with moonlight
or without a moon
moonlight is expensive
but it’s in demand
the military rape
it’s done with drummers and a band!
you understand?
it’s very grand!
it’s done with drums and a great big brass band!
yeah!

[hucklebee & bellomy, spoken]
ah!

[bellomy, spoken]
it’s so spanish! that’s why i like it!

[hucklebee, spoken]
i like it too! ay*yi*yi*yi!

[el gallo]
just try to see it!

[bellomy]
i see it!

[hucklebee]
i see it!

[el gallo]
and you will soon agree, señors

[el gallo, hucklebee & bellomy]
why invite regret
when you get the sort of rape
you’ll never ever forget?

[hucklebee & bellomy, el gallo]
we can get the rape emphatic (oh, rape!)
we can get the rape polite
we can get the rape with indians (sweet rape!)
a truly charming sight
we can get the rape on horseback (oh, rape!)
they all say it’s new and g*y

[hucklebee & bellomy]
so you see the sort of rape
depends on what you pay
so you see the sort of rape
depends on what you pay
so you see the sort of rape
depends on what you pay

[hucklebee & bellomy, el gallo]
so you see the sort of rape (rape!)
depends on what you pay
depends on what you pay
depends on what you pay
depends on what you pay

[el gallo, hucklebee & bellomy]
depends a lot on what you—

[hucklebee, spoken]
i say they’re only young once. let’s order us a “first class!”

[el gallo, hucklebee & bellomy]
pay!
olé!

- jerry orbach william larsen hugh thomas lyrics

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