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i put my hand in - jerry herman lyrics

[dolly]
i have always been a woman who arranges things
for the pleasure and the profit it derives
i have always been a woman who arranges things
like furniture and daffodils and lives

[hands purse to ambrose]

when a man with a timid tongue
meets a girl with a diffident air
why should the tortured creatures beat around the bush
when heaven knows mother nature always needs a little push
so i put my hand in here
i put my hand in there
and a girl over 6 foot 3
loves a man who comes up to her ear
surely it’s obvious she’ll never be seduced
’til some kind soul condescends
to give her beau a little boost
so i put my hand in there
i put my hand in here

i have always been a woman who arranges things
it’s my duty to -ssist the lord above
i have always been a woman who arranges things
like luncheon parties, poker games, and love
my aplomb at cosmetic art
turned a frump to a trump lady fair
she had a countenance a little bit like scrooge
but oh today you would swear the lord himself applied the rouge
when i put my hand in here
i put my hand in there!

i put my hand in here
i twist a little, stir a little
him a little, her a little
shape a little, mold a little
some poor chap gets sold a little
when i use my fist a little
some young bride gets kissed a little
pressure with the thumbs
matrimony comes
when, i put my hand in there…

for when my little pink wiggles
some young maiden gets the giggles
then i make my knuckles active
“my” he says “she’s so attractive.”
then i move my index digit
and they both begin to fidget
then i clench my palm
the preacher reads a psalm
when i put my hand in there!

- jerry herman lyrics

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