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shut up (late night depression) - jenna may lyrics

chorus:
why do i let me hate myself?
can’t i muster any kind of energy to tell my depression to shut the h*ll up?

verse 1:
i make plans for what i wanna do, what would be fulfilling, and what would make me feel good about myself and then
it’s just in theory and half the day’s gone ‘cause i slept in and, i think i’ll do these things tomorrow and then it’s the weekend, and
well it’s the weekend, so there shouldn’t necessarily be work to do
oh but it’s a cycle and i don’t know what to do, ‘cause i can’t get myself to do the things i want to
oooh
at what point do you lose who you really are? and does that mean that maybe you weren’t really that person at all?
i feel so small
but i remind myself it’s just chemicals in my brain
if i wasn’t depressed then i’d be doing all this stuff and, i’m sure i’d be so happy
but also, if i wasn’t depressed, would i even be me? and be in another galaxy?
i know that there’s a lot of sh*t in this universe, but if i were to be in another one
i wouldn’t even have the thoughts that i know are good, and that lead me to know that things aren’t so great in this universe

chorus:
why do i let me hate myself?
whoa ohh
why can’t i muster any bit of energy to tell my depression to shut the f*ck up?

verse 2:
and i should cut myself some slack; at least i woke up, and made some food, and brushed my t**th and drank water but
it’s not enough, no it’s not enough
and the world doesn’t stop because you need a second to breathe
oh no, it’s not enough, ohhh oh it’s not enough, ohh oh
but if i can’t push through it all to do what i’m passionate about, what i’m serious about, to get sk!lled, get better, then will i ever?
and does that mean i’m not really passionate enough?
i know shouldn’t feel like that, but everything is so tough
and i hate using things like depression as a crutch, as an excuse but, it makes it so godd*mn hard to get up
chorus:
so why, do i let me hate myself? ohh i guess it’s easier to give in to defeat, than to muster up any bit of energy to tell everything to shut the h*ll up

- jenna may lyrics

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